3 ms·

I'd offer a third option which is taking responsibility for your pain / emotions, but not trying to "control" them. Instead, welcoming and allowing all of the

by ada1981 9y ago

I'd offer a third option which is taking responsibility for your pain / emotions, but not trying to "control" them. Instead, welcoming and allowing all of them and creating space to engage and explore them. This can lead to much deeper connection with your self and others, and increased health. When you do this, you will also be more available to help others feel their emotions and to help them take responsibility for feeling them fully. I quibble over the term "control" because I see much of our cultures problems as an avoidance -- either making it others people's job, or turning to drugs / addictions / psychiatry / etc. to avoid feeling.

imgabe 9y ago
You're right, control is the wrong word. It's more "don't let them control you". With practice I find I can feel an emotion, recognize it as an emotional response, then either find some productive action to address what's causing it or if none are available, let it go. Not that I'm always perfect at doing this, but I find it's more helpful than just being annoyed/sad/angry and waiting for some external change in circumstances to make me feel better.
- ada1981 9y ago
  I've been living my entire adult life after having been diagnosed schizophrenic at 18 (and bipolar at 31). Choosing to live without medication, this practice of feeling emotions fully and letting them teach me whatever they are meant to, has allowed me to transcend that diagnosis. I've found that within hard to experience emotions are often anchient patterns or old traumas waiting to be released - everything from my father cheating on my mom, to my step dad abusing us, to being circumscized, to being terrified by Catholic propaganda. I find that when I surrender to the emotions as sacred teachers (sometime using altered states like Breathwork to get closer / amplify them), that I end up with more clarity, compassion and confidence.

imgabe 9y ago

You're right, control is the wrong word. It's more "don't let them control you". With practice I find I can feel an emotion, recognize it as an emotional response, then either find some productive action to address what's causing it or if none are available, let it go. Not that I'm always perfect at doing this, but I find it's more helpful than just being annoyed/sad/angry and waiting for some external change in circumstances to make me feel better.

ada1981 9y ago
I've been living my entire adult life after having been diagnosed schizophrenic at 18 (and bipolar at 31). Choosing to live without medication, this practice of feeling emotions fully and letting them teach me whatever they are meant to, has allowed me to transcend that diagnosis. I've found that within hard to experience emotions are often anchient patterns or old traumas waiting to be released - everything from my father cheating on my mom, to my step dad abusing us, to being circumscized, to being terrified by Catholic propaganda. I find that when I surrender to the emotions as sacred teachers (sometime using altered states like Breathwork to get closer / amplify them), that I end up with more clarity, compassion and confidence.