5 ms·
Counterpoint: I'm 48. I work in the Valley. I do wear suits and dresses because that's what I like. (Some days, you can catch me in jeans and t-shirts. It's rar
by groby_b 9y ago
Counterpoint: I'm 48. I work in the Valley. I do wear suits and dresses because that's what I like. (Some days, you can catch me in jeans and t-shirts. It's rare). I don't pick up hobbies I don't care about just because "everybody does it". (Looking at you, bicycling!). I'm not even male.
I still (just verified :) ace my interviews. I'm well respected at my job. I've got a decent income and a decent set of responsibilities.
Maybe I'm an exception. But, alternative thought, maybe the "youth obsession" is also partially created because everybody thinks it exists.
Yes, I'm wondering what happens when I get post 50 as well. But mostly I'm thinking that because everybody tells me it will be bad, not because I've seen actual evidence. I've got wonderful colleagues who are 50+, and nobody would dream of firing them. I've got industry contacts who are 50+. So, I guess I'll find out in about two years.
- KirinDave 9y ago> I'm not even male. I sure do wish I could convince people of this, but getting "they" from folks has been impossible. > But, alternative thought, maybe the "youth obsession" is also partially created because everybody thinks it exists. If that's the case than it's much worse than simple bias.
- empthought 9y ago>> I'm not even male. > I sure do wish I could convince people of this, but getting "they" from folks has been impossible. It could be that pronouns have no bearing on one's sex class.
- KirinDave 9y agoIf that's the case then why refuse any such designation? We certainly put up with more eccentric affectations than this is our community, like the idea of 10x programmers, the relevance of object oriented programming, free $4 bottle water, ping pong during work hours, or the idea that everyone needs a $3200 laptop. No, it's precisely because it has bearing that people oppose it.
- empthought 9y agoIt seems eccentric but harmless to ask that people use non-gendered pronouns, but when other people respect that, it is almost certainly not because they now believe that you are somehow not male.
- KirinDave 9y agoI haven't asked them to approve of my lifestyle, just not actively erase it or demand I pander to their desire to ignore it. If you don't care how I feel, I'm willing to extend symmetrical courtesy. However, basic affordances accepting other people's differences seem like an excellent comprimise, and has worked quite well historically. But here you are, acting like it's an undue burden and I should be ashamed. Why is that?
- empthought 9y agoI don't think you understand what I am saying. Convincing people to use gender-neutral pronouns for you and convincing them that you are not male are two entirely different things. That is all. I would venture to guess that you have convinced zero people that you are not male, but I made no statement about how pronoun preferences are an undue burden or how you should be ashamed; you made that up yourself.
- KirinDave 9y ago> Convincing people to use gender-neutral pronouns for you and convincing them that you are not male are two entirely different things. That is all. And I'm telling you that it definitely does. > I would venture to guess that you have convinced zero people that you are not male This is untrue. But it depends on the venue. And in many cases succeeding at this changes how people treat me. > but I made no statement about how pronoun preferences are an undue burden or how you should be ashamed; you made that up yourself. No. You're just here to represent the "I will never accept what you're saying" squad.
- 9y ago