8 ms·
In an effort to get people to look into each other’s eyes more, and also to appease the mutes, the government has decided to allot each person exact
by ppod 9y ago
In an effort to get people to look
into each other’s eyes more,
and also to appease the mutes,
the government has decided
to allot each person exactly one hundred
and sixty-seven words, per day.
When the phone rings, I put it to my ear
without saying hello. In the restaurant
I point at chicken noodle soup.
I am adjusting well to the new way.
Late at night, I call my long distance lover,
proudly say I only used fifty-nine today.
I saved the rest for you.
When she doesn’t respond,
I know she’s used up all her words,
so I slowly whisper I love you
thirty-two and a third times.
After that, we just sit on the line
and listen to each other breathe.
The Quiet World by Jeffrey McDaniel
- why-el 9y agoBeautiful and prophetic. Thanks for sharing.
- lossolo 9y agoReally powerful text. Can't remember when last time couple of words touched me like those.
- Overtonwindow 9y agoMay I suggest this reading of a Charles Bukowski poem. It's helped me to get out of bed a number of times, when the days look so foreboding. http://youtu.be/yVisTfbVSFE http://youtu.be/yVisTfbVSFE
- drworm 9y agoYou may also be interested in this excellent Bukowski poem, with a beautiful matching video: https://vimeo.com/26946995 https://vimeo.com/26946995
- bostonpete 9y agoI was disappointed to find this poem didn't have exactly one hundred and sixty-seven words.
- OscarCunningham 9y agoIt's kind of weird that it doesn't. You could so easily change the "sixty-seven" to "twenty-five".
- flycaliguy 9y agoDon't ever let a poet see this comment.
- JumpCrisscross 9y ago> Don't ever let a poet see this comment Why?
- matthewowen 9y agothey don't sound the same.
- NamTaf 9y agoMy guess is that sixty-seven has four syllables, twenty-five has three.
- saghm 9y agoIn the first verse, there doesn't seem to be any pattern to the lengths (in syllables) of the lines; 10, 7, 8, 8, 12, 8. I'm not sure the meter would really be damaged that much by reducing the last line by one syllable.
- askvictor 9y agoPlease don't use code blocks for anything but code; they're unreadable on mobile.
- Y_Y 9y agoI think you (and many valiant others) are fighting a losing battle here. God forbid HN should allow a quote style, that'd be so bloaty.
- askvictor 9y agoSigh. Or at least render code blocks nicely on mobile.
- mixmastamyk 9y agoIt's not related to mobile, the problem is the very small maxwidth that forces scrolling. Happens on the desktop too and is unnecessary.
- vacri 9y agoTurn your phone to landscape orientation? :)
- mintplant 9y agoI suggested this before; according to 'dang it would break the spam filter. I'm unclear on the details.
- jcahill 9y agoNothing valiant about telling users not to use a standard feature. Double-plus anti-valiant to suggest prioritizing mobile over desktop.
- StavrosK 9y agoAt least the GP used short lines... I hate those single-line code-blocked long comments. A gift for you: https://www.eternum.io/ipfs/QmVARCKc4tqh82csydiAQ2JVmvvKeckmq9Z9SYD19UyCMp/ https://www.eternum.io/ipfs/QmVARCKc4tqh82csydiAQ2JVmvvKeckm...
- cornstalks 9y agoFor those (like me) on mobile who can't read this (well): "In an effort to get people to look into each other’s eyes more, and also to appease the mutes, the government has decided to allot each person exactly one hundred and sixty-seven words, per day. "When the phone rings, I put it to my ear without saying hello. In the restaurant I point at chicken noodle soup. I am adjusting well to the new way. "Late at night, I call my long distance lover, proudly say I only used fifty-nine today. I saved the rest for you. "When she doesn’t respond, I know she’s used up all her words, so I slowly whisper I love you thirty-two and a third times. After that, we just sit on the line and listen to each other breathe." The Quiet World by Jeffrey McDaniel
- pitaj 9y agoPeople could just use > like the internet has for ages: > In an effort to get people to look into each other’s eyes more, and also to appease the mutes, the government has decided to allot each person exactly one hundred and sixty-seven words, per day. > When the phone rings, I put it to my ear without saying hello. In the restaurant I point at chicken noodle soup. I am adjusting well to the new way. > Late at night, I call my long distance lover, proudly say I only used fifty-nine today. I saved the rest for you. > When she doesn’t respond, I know she’s used up all her words, so I slowly whisper I love you thirty-two and a third times. After that, we just sit on the line and listen to each other breathe. - The Quiet World by Jeffrey McDaniel
- hkmurakami 9y agoWell it's a poem, so each of the verses being represented properly, matters.
- skissane 9y agoUsual shorthand is to separate verses with / Of course, the effect is best when the poem is laid out properly (which sometimes includes using indentation). But using slashes is better than alternatives like using commas (which is ambiguous, since a comma can mean a pause or clause boundary within a line)
- iamshariq 9y agospell bounding!
- flexie 9y agoGreat poem. And what I like about HN is that the first dozens of comments on the poem are about technicalities like how it is displayed in the browser, the mathmatics of it etc., not its interpretation :-)
- kylnew 9y agohaha, full disclosure I took a screenshot of this comment because it epitomizes HN in a way that made my day
- trampi 9y agoThank you very much for sharing. Touching. Did not expect something like this in the comment section. You definitely made my day with this beautiful poem.
- jussij 9y agoThe author of the poem has most certainly made sure not to go over the daily word limit. These are the words actually spoken in the poem: > I only used fifty-nine today. = 5 > I saved the rest for you. = 6 > I love you * (32 1/3) = 96 + 1 = 97 The remainder of the words are thoughts which don't add to the daily count. Plus the author had already used 59 words earlier in the day. So if we add it all up: 5 6 97 59 ---- 167 words total ----
- kardos 9y agoSurely they set the word limit afterwards, yes?
- gytdev 9y agoThis. This is the reason I love HN :)
- therealpanda 9y agoHe saved all his 167 words for the girl but she didn't.
- Angostura 9y agoThank you for bring that to my attention. It's really rather lovely.
- doneata 9y agoSort of related, but on a more humorous note, a short film about a man who has only 1500 words left to live: https://www.shortoftheweek.com/2016/05/25/1500-words/ https://www.shortoftheweek.com/2016/05/25/1500-words/
- accordionclown 9y agoit's great seeing a poem by a poet i know. for the record, jeffrey mcdaniel is also a fantastic performer, so if you get a chance to see him recite, don't sleep on it.
- Markoff 9y ago> When the phone rings, I put it to my ear without saying hello. Actually I often do this with unknown callers, it usually confuse them especially when it's advertisement, they usually wait for someone to speak up, but at least it's easier way to save your breathe if someone who is calling you doesn't even know your name to ask "is mr. XY there?", then you can just hang up.