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> Why not work? After some time in divorce (immediately perhaps) you are supposed, as an adult, to support for yourself. Let's say as a family you decided that

> Why not work? After some time in divorce (immediately perhaps) you are supposed, as an adult, to support for yourself. Let's say as a family you decided that the wife would be a stay at home wife to have and support children. Then fifteen years down the line you get divorced. The wife gave up fifteen years of career and career advancement for the family. Alimony is a damn appropriate compensation for that sacrifice, since it's likely that as you start working you're going to be getting minimum wage (and your ex husband, presumably, had those fifteen years of career advancement).

thriftwy 9y ago
> for that sacrifice Was career a sacrifice or something that she was happy to get rid of in exchange to support? I think I can find men who would be happy to do chores if a woman would be supporting them with high-paying job, and essentially zero women who will agree to such arrangement. Staying at home without working is a bad decision and you certainly can't chain man over it when it doesn't work. Promising of life-time alimony, in some extreme cases for a wife who never had any children even, is just pushing women into making this bad decision.
- Blackthorn 9y ago
  > Was career a sacrifice or something that she was happy to get rid of in exchange to support? Does not really matter what sort of words you want to call it. She still gave up her earning potential for the family. These decisions are made by two people, not one. And now, as a result of that, in divorce, they are woefully uneven going forward. Alimony is there to balance those scales. Don't like it? Don't have a stay at home family. > I think I can find men who would be happy to do chores if a woman would be supporting them with high-paying job, and essentially zero women who will agree to such arrangement. My friend group alone includes one planned stay at home husband, so you are quite incorrect on this point. > Staying at home without working is a bad decision Then don't do it. > and you certainly can't chain man over it when it doesn't work. Why all the concern for the man here and none for the woman? She's "chained" to lower earnings for the rest of her life as a result of this.
  - thriftwy 9y ago
    > These decisions are made by two people, not one. But they are affecting one of those people more than the other. So they should factor it in. There should be implicit thinking "if we get separated later in life, then what?" > Don't like it? Don't have a stay at home family. I have no trust that alimony will only be applied to stay at home mothers, and not extended to any women with any earning capability. And that is a trust issue right there that is damaging marriage as an institution.

thriftwy 9y ago

> for that sacrifice Was career a sacrifice or something that she was happy to get rid of in exchange to support? I think I can find men who would be happy to do chores if a woman would be supporting them with high-paying job, and essentially zero women who will agree to such arrangement. Staying at home without working is a bad decision and you certainly can't chain man over it when it doesn't work. Promising of life-time alimony, in some extreme cases for a wife who never had any children even, is just pushing women into making this bad decision.

Blackthorn 9y ago
> Was career a sacrifice or something that she was happy to get rid of in exchange to support? Does not really matter what sort of words you want to call it. She still gave up her earning potential for the family. These decisions are made by two people, not one. And now, as a result of that, in divorce, they are woefully uneven going forward. Alimony is there to balance those scales. Don't like it? Don't have a stay at home family. > I think I can find men who would be happy to do chores if a woman would be supporting them with high-paying job, and essentially zero women who will agree to such arrangement. My friend group alone includes one planned stay at home husband, so you are quite incorrect on this point. > Staying at home without working is a bad decision Then don't do it. > and you certainly can't chain man over it when it doesn't work. Why all the concern for the man here and none for the woman? She's "chained" to lower earnings for the rest of her life as a result of this.
- thriftwy 9y ago
  > These decisions are made by two people, not one. But they are affecting one of those people more than the other. So they should factor it in. There should be implicit thinking "if we get separated later in life, then what?" > Don't like it? Don't have a stay at home family. I have no trust that alimony will only be applied to stay at home mothers, and not extended to any women with any earning capability. And that is a trust issue right there that is damaging marriage as an institution.