4 ms·
Just be polyamorous (see e.g. https://polyfidelity.org.au/about/polyamory/education/121-the-diversity-of-love-relationship-concepts https://polyfidelity.org.au/
by stared 9y ago
Just be polyamorous (see e.g. https://polyfidelity.org.au/about/polyamory/education/121-the-diversity-of-love-relationship-concepts https://polyfidelity.org.au/about/polyamory/education/121-th..., http://slatestarcodex.com/2013/04/06/polyamory-is-boring/ http://slatestarcodex.com/2013/04/06/polyamory-is-boring/).
If there is a need to have multiple partners instead of going the "traditional way" (one official partner + cheating or some shady don't ask don't tell arrangement) it seems much healthier to openly discuss needs and boundaries. We shouldn't just accept "system defaults" if they are not optimal for us.
In my local poly community (Warsaw) there is a lot of nerds. I tend to view it as a hacker's approach to relationship.
- Nursie 9y agoYup, if you don't want to do things the mono way, and everyone's on-board, why not! The problems come when people promise one thing and do another...
- Red_Tarsius 9y agoYour poly community has a lot of nerds because they don't have enough leverage to ask their s.o. to stop fucking other people.
- bob2001 9y agoSo how are most of these nerds in this community distributed, like 1 partner dating multiple nerds, or 1 nerd per "group" of partners like the parent comment implies?
- colanderman 9y agoOr they're enlightened enough to realize that only diseased, transactional relationships are based on "leverage"?
- jaimex2 9y agoWhat do you do when someone gets pregnant?
- emodendroket 9y agoPeace and love, man.
- Nursie 9y agoFrom the poly relationships I have observed - you talk about it with all involved, have a discussion about how the kid's going to get raised etc etc. It can get complicated depending on who is living where and such stuff. But then AFAICT everything in poly relationships takes quite a lot of thought and planning. I think contraception and planning when you're going to have a kid and who with becomes even more critical. Too much effort for me!
- zzalpha 9y agoYou... didn't read the article, did you? It goes on at length about why affairs aren't just about wanting another partner. It even mentions (briefly) affairs in the context of open marriages.
- deleted 9y ago[deleted]