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In most cases, it is a violation of trust. There's a difference between an open relationship and someone violating your trust. Monogamy isn't based on ownership
by KGIII 9y ago
In most cases, it is a violation of trust. There's a difference between an open relationship and someone violating your trust. Monogamy isn't based on ownership, it's based on trust. Open relationships are fine, but you should have willing partners.
- enraged_camel 9y agoAside from that, there are some very legitimate practical concerns with poly relationships. STDs, for example.
- toomuchtodo 9y agoThat's easily solved with a blood test before you engage in a sexual relationship with additional partners.
- hndamien 9y agoThat is solved, but not so easily, with a blood test.
- Insanity 9y agoSmall bugfix: Regular blood tests* As any of your partners could be adding additional partners, and probably so could theirs. And if they're very open - they might casually have sex with someone else every weekend. Maintenance nightmare if you ask me. :P
- toomuchtodo 9y agoThe foundation of all relationships is trust. You can't hack around dishonesty. Don't be in a relationship with someone you can't trust if your health depends on it.
- Insanity 9y agoBut, it's not dishonest in that case. If people are free to add partners as they like - then you can not _ensure_ that one of their partners (or their partner's partners, or partner's partner's partners, you get the point) respects that. It increases the odds of getting an STD I believe. But I don't have numbers to back that up nor do I feel like looking for them now (sorry)
- deleted 9y ago[deleted]
- KGIII 9y agoThat seems both impractical and likely to ruin any mood. Instead of, "Hold on, I have to get a condom." It is now, "Let's take you down to the clinic and get you tested!" Then, as they likely have multiple partners as well, you end up needing a constant stream of blood tests. In short, it's risky behavior. You can do it, it's not up to me to judge. But, it seems like a lot more work than just committing to one person and remaining faithful to that one person.
- colanderman 9y agoWhat? First, condoms prevent or reduce the risk of contracting most STDs (including HIV) [1]. Second, you're confusing polyamory (a few committed relationships) with promiscuity (many non-committed sexual partners). [1] https://www.cdc.gov/condomeffectiveness/brief.html#HIV https://www.cdc.gov/condomeffectiveness/brief.html#HIV
- deleted 9y ago[deleted]
- toomuchtodo 9y ago> That seems both impractical and likely to ruin any mood. Of partners my partner and I have dated together, all appreciated the sentiment and none of them turned down getting tested before festivities. No one has said no, nor thought it was an awkward request. Your mileage may vary. > You can do it, it's not up to me to judge. But, it seems like a lot more work than just committing to one person and remaining faithful to that one person. I prefer my life richer over easier. Life is brief and once, better to not waste it.
- KGIII 9y agoHmm... One of us has their wires crossed. If you're just with a couple other people, I don't see that as cheating - so long as they're all okay with it. I see cheating as being with a different partner. Unless I got confused, cheating was the subject? That and, it's okay to have sex with multiple consenting people. You don't need my permission, of course. However, I've nary a problem with it. I've been in similar situations, where we shared and shared alike. It's all good, so long as everyone consents.