4 ms·

TLDR; It is possible to like more than one individual. I for one doesn't understand why anyone would marry except for economical benefits/security. Personally

TLDR; It is possible to like more than one individual. I for one doesn't understand why anyone would marry except for economical benefits/security. Personally, I would much rather have 2 or more girlfriends/partners who enjoy me and eachother than a marriage with one. Since I believe that the male sex drive is bigger than that of women, I don't understand why I should be limited to just enjoy one other woman. However, this is hard to do because many women like the idea of marriage and have this impossible romantic view of the world. Love is not static, sometimes you love someone more and sometimes less. This changes over time just like everything else. But in our upbringing we learn from movies and our culture that love should be this static, non-changing thing and of course it will not work in a world that changes all the time. A lot of marriages fail, probably because people change over time and we don't always like that. Let's just be more open and enjoy ourselves when we have such a short time alive. EDIT: I understand that my opinions can be controversial, but you don't really have do downvote just because you do not agree with them.

tonyedgecombe 9y ago
I would much rather have 2 girlfriends/partners There always seems to be at least one partner in these relationships singing their praise through gritted teeth.
- staticelf 9y ago
  I have no experience of such relationships so I cannot really say anything about it except that I want one :)
gumby 9y ago
> Since I believe that the male sex drive is bigger than that of women... Your belief is not borne out by data. And for a long period in the West the opposite was the common belief. In some countries like contemporary Iran, sex education includes the pleasure, needs and in-the-bed sexual equality of both partners (in Iran’s case to try to preserve conservative marriage and increase procreation — obviously there is not equality OUTSIDE the bed)
- staticelf 9y ago
  I think I read some paper about homosexual men having the most sex and homosexual women the least, if that is true I think it would be data that suggests that my belief is correct. But otherwise my belief is based on experience mostly.
  - LordKano 9y ago
    I saw a documentary once called "Brain Sex" and as I remember it, in the days before HIV/AIDS, it wasn't unheard of for some gay men to have 1,000 sexual partners in a lifetime. I'm sure that this has changed dramatically over the past 30-35 years.
    - emodendroket 9y ago
      I'm less sure of that to be honest. People get inured to that kind of fear after a while.
norswap 9y ago
While I do agree that monogamy is a simplistic view, the view you propose is equally simplistic. While polygamy is potentially more rewarding than monogamy, it is also much tricky to get right. Given how many people struggle with monogamy already (and most often, it should be said, not because of the exclusivity), it's not really surprised it became the standard.
- staticelf 9y ago
  Yeah of course it is tricky, I haven't suggested that it would be easy. But for it to work everyone ivolved have to be very open as individuals, strong in communication and I think that may help.
Nursie 9y ago
>> Personally, I would much rather have 2 or more girlfriends/partners who enjoy me and eachother than a marriage with one. And they have other men in their lives too? You have some funny beliefs, and you'll find a thriving polyamory community out there that many women take part in. It's just that if you're not going looking for an exclusive relationship, neither are they.
- staticelf 9y ago
  > And they have other men in their lives too? Haven't really thought about that. I guess it depends on the relationship I have with them. If we live together I rather like them to be bisexual, but I guess it would be ok for me to live like a collective and for them to enjoy other men. But then I would like to know these men and perhaps even live with them and the women. > You have some funny beliefs, and you'll find a thriving polyamory community out there that many women take part in. Well, I just like to enjoy life as much as possible because I am going to be dead for a long effing time.
  - Nursie 9y ago
    Ha! I was half expecting you to come back "Of course not, the very idea !!!?!" Seriously, if that seems like something you're interested in, there are a lot of people out there who agree with you, of both/all genders, many who are bisexual as well. Look up some local poly meetups, there are lots around (though you may have more luck finding them in major cities). Best of luck.
    - staticelf 9y ago
      Haha, I have looked up some but most people who are into this seem a lot older than me and kind of ugly for most of the time. I understand this may of course differ completely from people to people. I don't really want any kind of relationship right now though, since I am focusing on work and myself. But I will probably do this later, thanks.
      - Nursie 9y ago
Insanity 9y ago
> Personally, I would much rather have 2 or more girlfriends/partners Sharing time between them would take away most of your personal time though. It'd also be kind of annoying with kids.
- staticelf 9y ago
  They can have time with either me or themselves. I guess kids would complicate things a lot but hopefully I can manage to avoid that part.
emodendroket 9y ago
I don't see how I could possibly pursue a second relationship and still give my relationship with my wife the time and energy it deserves.
- staticelf 9y ago
  Well if she would have a relationship with your new partner as well, they could spend time together while you do other stuff.
  - emodendroket 9y ago
    I'm not sure what you have in mind; some sort of "sister wives" type arrangement? I don't think it really solves the problem.

tonyedgecombe 9y ago

I would much rather have 2 girlfriends/partners There always seems to be at least one partner in these relationships singing their praise through gritted teeth.

staticelf 9y ago
I have no experience of such relationships so I cannot really say anything about it except that I want one :)

gumby 9y ago

> Since I believe that the male sex drive is bigger than that of women... Your belief is not borne out by data. And for a long period in the West the opposite was the common belief. In some countries like contemporary Iran, sex education includes the pleasure, needs and in-the-bed sexual equality of both partners (in Iran’s case to try to preserve conservative marriage and increase procreation — obviously there is not equality OUTSIDE the bed)

staticelf 9y ago
I think I read some paper about homosexual men having the most sex and homosexual women the least, if that is true I think it would be data that suggests that my belief is correct. But otherwise my belief is based on experience mostly.
- LordKano 9y ago
  I saw a documentary once called "Brain Sex" and as I remember it, in the days before HIV/AIDS, it wasn't unheard of for some gay men to have 1,000 sexual partners in a lifetime. I'm sure that this has changed dramatically over the past 30-35 years.
  - emodendroket 9y ago
    I'm less sure of that to be honest. People get inured to that kind of fear after a while.

norswap 9y ago

While I do agree that monogamy is a simplistic view, the view you propose is equally simplistic. While polygamy is potentially more rewarding than monogamy, it is also much tricky to get right. Given how many people struggle with monogamy already (and most often, it should be said, not because of the exclusivity), it's not really surprised it became the standard.

staticelf 9y ago
Yeah of course it is tricky, I haven't suggested that it would be easy. But for it to work everyone ivolved have to be very open as individuals, strong in communication and I think that may help.

Nursie 9y ago

>> Personally, I would much rather have 2 or more girlfriends/partners who enjoy me and eachother than a marriage with one. And they have other men in their lives too? You have some funny beliefs, and you'll find a thriving polyamory community out there that many women take part in. It's just that if you're not going looking for an exclusive relationship, neither are they.

staticelf 9y ago
> And they have other men in their lives too? Haven't really thought about that. I guess it depends on the relationship I have with them. If we live together I rather like them to be bisexual, but I guess it would be ok for me to live like a collective and for them to enjoy other men. But then I would like to know these men and perhaps even live with them and the women. > You have some funny beliefs, and you'll find a thriving polyamory community out there that many women take part in. Well, I just like to enjoy life as much as possible because I am going to be dead for a long effing time.
- Nursie 9y ago
  Ha! I was half expecting you to come back "Of course not, the very idea !!!?!" Seriously, if that seems like something you're interested in, there are a lot of people out there who agree with you, of both/all genders, many who are bisexual as well. Look up some local poly meetups, there are lots around (though you may have more luck finding them in major cities). Best of luck.
  - staticelf 9y ago
    Haha, I have looked up some but most people who are into this seem a lot older than me and kind of ugly for most of the time. I understand this may of course differ completely from people to people. I don't really want any kind of relationship right now though, since I am focusing on work and myself. But I will probably do this later, thanks.
    - Nursie 9y ago

Insanity 9y ago

> Personally, I would much rather have 2 or more girlfriends/partners Sharing time between them would take away most of your personal time though. It'd also be kind of annoying with kids.

staticelf 9y ago
They can have time with either me or themselves. I guess kids would complicate things a lot but hopefully I can manage to avoid that part.

emodendroket 9y ago

I don't see how I could possibly pursue a second relationship and still give my relationship with my wife the time and energy it deserves.

staticelf 9y ago
Well if she would have a relationship with your new partner as well, they could spend time together while you do other stuff.
- emodendroket 9y ago
  I'm not sure what you have in mind; some sort of "sister wives" type arrangement? I don't think it really solves the problem.