5 ms·

It's a personal thing. Some people don't like sharing one of the most intimate actions with their partner with other people. If you can't handle even the sligh

It's a personal thing. Some people don't like sharing one of the most intimate actions with their partner with other people. If you can't handle even the slightest of erotic competition, how solid can the basis of your relationship be? This is not helpful because some of the happiest relationships I know are very conservative (perhaps selfish in your view) relationships. Some people are monogamous, some aren't, no reason to judge either side.

crsm345 9y ago
It's certainly a personal decision, and I agree that there is no reason to make negative value judgments about two consenting adults deciding to uphold a (happy) monogamous remationship model. But the overwhelming dominance of this particular model is what seems suspect to me. Do all these people really prefer monogamy? Or rather, why do they? It seems very likely that it is due to societal pressure / 'conditioning' rather then 'authentic' personal preference. But this is of course nearly impossible to test. I do not think it's 'selfish' to follow a monogamous relationship style. To make a somewhat contentious analogy, I wouldn't condemn people for being gay either (or for being straight for that matter). However it seems important that these various types of relationships are genuinely possible without stigma etc. In the case of hetero/homo/... -sexuality it's obvious that there is a biological mechanism behind the dominance of heterosexuality. In the case of 'open' relationships (especially in the case of a 'monogamous love, polygamous sex' -type relationship this is a lot less clear. If it turns out that this is not simply due to 'practicality' (or innate biology) it seems overly restrictive as a social norm. One might even say 'opressive' (in the sense that Prohibition arguably was, not trying to equate this with racism/..)

5 ms·

It's a personal thing. Some people don't like sharing one of the most intimate actions with their partner with other people. If you can't handle even the sligh

by aaron-lebo 9y ago

crsm345 9y ago
It's certainly a personal decision, and I agree that there is no reason to make negative value judgments about two consenting adults deciding to uphold a (happy) monogamous remationship model. But the overwhelming dominance of this particular model is what seems suspect to me. Do all these people really prefer monogamy? Or rather, why do they? It seems very likely that it is due to societal pressure / 'conditioning' rather then 'authentic' personal preference. But this is of course nearly impossible to test. I do not think it's 'selfish' to follow a monogamous relationship style. To make a somewhat contentious analogy, I wouldn't condemn people for being gay either (or for being straight for that matter). However it seems important that these various types of relationships are genuinely possible without stigma etc. In the case of hetero/homo/... -sexuality it's obvious that there is a biological mechanism behind the dominance of heterosexuality. In the case of 'open' relationships (especially in the case of a 'monogamous love, polygamous sex' -type relationship this is a lot less clear. If it turns out that this is not simply due to 'practicality' (or innate biology) it seems overly restrictive as a social norm. One might even say 'opressive' (in the sense that Prohibition arguably was, not trying to equate this with racism/..)