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The reason it's ostensibly confusing is that the standard narrative of human sexuality—one sexual partner for life after getting married—is, forgive me, complet
by virgil_disgr4ce 9y ago
The reason it's ostensibly confusing is that the standard narrative of human sexuality—one sexual partner for life after getting married—is, forgive me, completely batshit insane. That's not to say that people haven't done it. People do, of course. And that's not to say that that's wrong or something, either. But the expectation of total 'fidelity' for life is unreasonable.
For more on this subject I recommend the book "Sex at Dawn."
- nkrisc 9y agoI think it's a waste of breath to promote or condemn one mode of relationship over another. All that matters is what you and your partner(s) agree on for the terms of your relationship.
- jamesrcole 9y agoIt can matter for legal reasons. Like what legal rights come with recognition of the relationship.
- deleted 9y ago[deleted]
- virgil_disgr4ce 9y agoOf course. But the problem is the expectation at large in the macroculture (I'm speaking largely of American macroculture, where I live) of monosexuality by participants of all sexes. In other words, it's a sociocultural problem. Are there people who have figured out how to escape it? Yes, but still a minute fraction. Furthermore, the judgement those people (myself included) face by family and sometimes friends is another part of the problem.
- nkrisc 9y agoAgreed about the real problem being societal. My point was that claiming that humans are "meant" to be monogamous or polygamous or whatever is an empty debate when we have free will and can decide for ourselves what sort of relationship we want.
- crsm345 9y agoHaving only read the 'reception' part of the wiki article, especially about 'Sex at Dawn' 's allegedly sloppy methodology.. do you happen to know of any book(s) with similarly 'non-standard' views of human sexuality, but which are considered (more widely) to be argued for using a strongly rigorous methodology?
- virgil_disgr4ce 9y agoI don't, though I imagine they must be out there—I'd love to find them.
- emodendroket 9y agoWell if you think so you have to admit it is dishonest to promise otherwise.
- virgil_disgr4ce 9y agoYes, that is the problem—people not admitting it to themselves or their partners—and (I believe) it is the standard narrative of monosexuality that forces people to not make that admission.
- emodendroket 9y agoWell I don't see anything so unnatural about a practice that has arisen in most human societies throughout history, so on a more basic level I'm unsympathetic to the argument. But it seems especially hard to justify using that defense after already committing to something else.
- jrs95 9y agoAll the people I've known that "couldn't do it" were usually selfish, had their priorities terribly wrong, and tended to leave empty & sad lives. I don't think that ought to be the new norm.