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Thanks for sharing that. How did you manage to stay calm and respectful in the face of all the condescension and threat of losing your children? Since my son

by wjy 16y ago

Thanks for sharing that. How did you manage to stay calm and respectful in the face of all the condescension and threat of losing your children? Since my son was born, I've observed my own protective tendencies really ratchet up. The few times I believed he was in real danger, all other concerns fell away, and removing the perceived danger was the only thing that mattered to me. I worry that were I to find my house invaded with people searching my stuff, accusing me of abuse, treating everything as evidence of guilt, the urge to crack some some heads might become overpowering. Of course, I rationally know that's the worst possible thing to do. But in the heat of the moment, the cerebrum doesn't always prevail. How did you keep your cool?

kls 16y ago
In the article the authors writes about being on a ladder and loosing it. That was a really hard part of the story to read as I remember that exact moment when I started to fade and the exact moment when I crossed the line. I would be foolish (and afraid) to openly talk about my thoughts and private actions during that period. On that subject, it is best left at; in my opinion, I was further gone in my mind then the author seemed to be. It may be that he fears talking about it as well for fear of charges or another investigation for making threats. This experience leaves and indelible mark and leaves you looking over your shoulder for the boogy-man. but seriously just like the author stated, my lawyer was the only thing that could pull me back into sanity. His slow calm voice logically deducing my actions and the outcomes would allow me to see the checkmate I was in and that any of those actions would be selfish (only make me feel better) and bring my family more harm than good. He would talk about my family being abandoned via my actions. Those words hurt more than knifes given the situation, thinking about your kids and wife left alone to deal with it (whether from you sitting in jail or worse) really cures you of those kind of thoughts. EDIT: my wife reminded me that I did have one episode. We have an ice maker in our fridge that if you put it on crushed ice it will jam up due to poor design. Anyway the DCF agent is talking to me and I am trying to get ice, one of the kids put it on crushed so it is jammed, I go to the drawer to get an ice pick and start break up the ice. The DCF agent has got up from her seat and is walking towards me and is accusing me of all kind of crap, I am starting to raise my voice, keep in mind the fridge door is in between our views of each other. She continues on and at this point I am screaming at her and I slam the door and have an ice pick in my hand, keep in mind I resemble a younger Jack Nicholson (a lot). So here she is presented with a screaming man with an ice pick in his hand that looks as crazy as Jack in the Shining. She quickly left the house and returned with a police escort and always had an escort from the point forward. My wife said it was the most frightening things she had ever seen. The ice pick was a coincident and I was not holding it to intimidate her but looking back I can see how crazy that scene must have looked.

by wjy 16y ago

kls 16y ago

In the article the authors writes about being on a ladder and loosing it. That was a really hard part of the story to read as I remember that exact moment when I started to fade and the exact moment when I crossed the line. I would be foolish (and afraid) to openly talk about my thoughts and private actions during that period. On that subject, it is best left at; in my opinion, I was further gone in my mind then the author seemed to be. It may be that he fears talking about it as well for fear of charges or another investigation for making threats. This experience leaves and indelible mark and leaves you looking over your shoulder for the boogy-man. but seriously just like the author stated, my lawyer was the only thing that could pull me back into sanity. His slow calm voice logically deducing my actions and the outcomes would allow me to see the checkmate I was in and that any of those actions would be selfish (only make me feel better) and bring my family more harm than good. He would talk about my family being abandoned via my actions. Those words hurt more than knifes given the situation, thinking about your kids and wife left alone to deal with it (whether from you sitting in jail or worse) really cures you of those kind of thoughts. EDIT: my wife reminded me that I did have one episode. We have an ice maker in our fridge that if you put it on crushed ice it will jam up due to poor design. Anyway the DCF agent is talking to me and I am trying to get ice, one of the kids put it on crushed so it is jammed, I go to the drawer to get an ice pick and start break up the ice. The DCF agent has got up from her seat and is walking towards me and is accusing me of all kind of crap, I am starting to raise my voice, keep in mind the fridge door is in between our views of each other. She continues on and at this point I am screaming at her and I slam the door and have an ice pick in my hand, keep in mind I resemble a younger Jack Nicholson (a lot). So here she is presented with a screaming man with an ice pick in his hand that looks as crazy as Jack in the Shining. She quickly left the house and returned with a police escort and always had an escort from the point forward. My wife said it was the most frightening things she had ever seen. The ice pick was a coincident and I was not holding it to intimidate her but looking back I can see how crazy that scene must have looked.