5 ms·

If you're a friend, you won't try to control them. Debate in search for truth; admit you might be the one who's wrong. Especially to yourself. But never control

If you're a friend, you won't try to control them. Debate in search for truth; admit you might be the one who's wrong. Especially to yourself. But never control. That's a philosophy that bit me hard when I didn't follow it, so just trying to pass it along. I think techies are far too used to wielding power. Assume for a moment that the world is evil. What now? Historically, the answer was "Accept it." The idea that we could even do anything to meaningfully change the situation is very recent. Concretely, starting a startup is one of the few ways you can influence the world. Failing that, there's nothing you can do, so you shouldn't worry about it. Once the cake is in the oven, it'll turn out however it'll turn out.

throwaway613834 9y ago
Yeah, nothing is exactly what I've been doing so far. I'm just wondering if that's really the best I can do.
- sillysaurus3 9y ago
  Well, that sort of begs the question: Why did you feel you could do anything in the first place? It sounds like a dopey question, but it's at the root of a lot of these feelings. I used to feel similarly to you: a general sense of malaise, a discomfort with the world, a plan for doing something concrete to change it. But everyone has limited ambition. If you don't focus it like a laser, you won't get anything done. Then suddenly your time is gone. I suppose my point is, relax and enjoy yourself. Choose whatever goal you really care about, and focus on that one thing. What Facebook does was never up to us in the first place. Besides, they're far less evil than Microsoft was at its peak. America isn't so bad right now.
  - throwaway613834 9y ago
    > Well, that sort of begs the question: Why did you feel you could do anything in the first place? I don't know if I can... that's why I'm asking if I can. If feeling hopeless is the best I can do then so be it, but I'm thinking maybe people have had better success.
    - mirimir 9y ago
      It's funny. Many years ago, I left academia for NGOs, thinking that I could make a difference. That kept me busy for a decade or so. But looking back, nothing that I accomplished actually made any difference. Now I'm a privacy fanatic. And my goals are far less grand. I get that most people have little privacy anymore. And I get that there's little hope for them. So I focus on raising awareness, writing how-to guides, etc. That's not exactly "feeling hopeless". It's more like being realistic.
  - Vinnl 9y ago
    I think it's important to focus on a goal you really care about, but at the same time: be open to other people who've chosen other goals, trust them that they're doing the right thing, and if you can help them with little effort, help them. If you're focusing on fixing one thing, but you can't get anyone to follow you, you're not going to accomplish anything. Doing the small and low-effort things that, together with other people doing the same, also improve the world - that's really underrated, in my opinion.
  - discreteevent 9y ago
    Without getting into whether Facebook is more or less evil than peak MS, I think the problem even if an internet company is only a little evil, that evil has much more reach. Peak MS really just affected other tech companies and user choice.
deleted 9y ago
[deleted]
adrianratnapala 9y ago
> If you're a friend, you won't try to control them. Damn straight. But also not relevant to what throwawayN's post. He/she/it is worried about offending people and not worried about a lack of control. I say buggrit, don't worry, just tell it like you imagine it its. That is in no way an attempt to control. I'm a Googler, and glad to be one. But if you want to tell me that Google is evil, well that's great. We could dive deep and find out about what your objections are, and have a great time talking about what is right and wrong about your thoughts and right and wrong about my company. But if I were the sort get all outraged by our mere opinion, then it would be me trying to control you. In which case, why would my feelings be worth damn?
sangnoir 9y ago
> Concretely, starting a startup is one of the few ways you can influence the world ...until you get funding. He who pays the piper calls the tune.
imhelpingu 9y ago
What's the point of having an opinion if it's not a morally normative one? /s

throwaway613834 9y ago

Yeah, nothing is exactly what I've been doing so far. I'm just wondering if that's really the best I can do.

sillysaurus3 9y ago
Well, that sort of begs the question: Why did you feel you could do anything in the first place? It sounds like a dopey question, but it's at the root of a lot of these feelings. I used to feel similarly to you: a general sense of malaise, a discomfort with the world, a plan for doing something concrete to change it. But everyone has limited ambition. If you don't focus it like a laser, you won't get anything done. Then suddenly your time is gone. I suppose my point is, relax and enjoy yourself. Choose whatever goal you really care about, and focus on that one thing. What Facebook does was never up to us in the first place. Besides, they're far less evil than Microsoft was at its peak. America isn't so bad right now.
- throwaway613834 9y ago
  > Well, that sort of begs the question: Why did you feel you could do anything in the first place? I don't know if I can... that's why I'm asking if I can. If feeling hopeless is the best I can do then so be it, but I'm thinking maybe people have had better success.
  - mirimir 9y ago
    It's funny. Many years ago, I left academia for NGOs, thinking that I could make a difference. That kept me busy for a decade or so. But looking back, nothing that I accomplished actually made any difference. Now I'm a privacy fanatic. And my goals are far less grand. I get that most people have little privacy anymore. And I get that there's little hope for them. So I focus on raising awareness, writing how-to guides, etc. That's not exactly "feeling hopeless". It's more like being realistic.
- Vinnl 9y ago
  I think it's important to focus on a goal you really care about, but at the same time: be open to other people who've chosen other goals, trust them that they're doing the right thing, and if you can help them with little effort, help them. If you're focusing on fixing one thing, but you can't get anyone to follow you, you're not going to accomplish anything. Doing the small and low-effort things that, together with other people doing the same, also improve the world - that's really underrated, in my opinion.
- discreteevent 9y ago
  Without getting into whether Facebook is more or less evil than peak MS, I think the problem even if an internet company is only a little evil, that evil has much more reach. Peak MS really just affected other tech companies and user choice.

deleted 9y ago

[deleted]

adrianratnapala 9y ago

> If you're a friend, you won't try to control them. Damn straight. But also not relevant to what throwawayN's post. He/she/it is worried about offending people and not worried about a lack of control. I say buggrit, don't worry, just tell it like you imagine it its. That is in no way an attempt to control. I'm a Googler, and glad to be one. But if you want to tell me that Google is evil, well that's great. We could dive deep and find out about what your objections are, and have a great time talking about what is right and wrong about your thoughts and right and wrong about my company. But if I were the sort get all outraged by our mere opinion, then it would be me trying to control you. In which case, why would my feelings be worth damn?

sangnoir 9y ago

> Concretely, starting a startup is one of the few ways you can influence the world ...until you get funding. He who pays the piper calls the tune.

imhelpingu 9y ago

What's the point of having an opinion if it's not a morally normative one? /s