4 ms·

Good parenting? As a parent, I was proud that my sons waited to date, took public transportation or rode their bikes, don't drink cause they're not 21 yet, and

Good parenting? As a parent, I was proud that my sons waited to date, took public transportation or rode their bikes, don't drink cause they're not 21 yet, and decided to have sex at the perfectly reasonable age of 19. I did like how the end of the article mentioned how scary the world is today. They should try living through the Cold War, and the time of Crips and Bloods, and gas lines, and the housing crash. Now those were scary.

rconti 9y ago
I liked how at the end of the article the mom classified behaviors as "all kinds of risky stuff that I can imagine would be age appropriate." Right. As if she was never that age :) Climate change seems like an odd thing to pick as a scary reason not to have sex or drink. Endless hysterical news stories about kids being abducted, maybe. It's hard to get too excited about kids delaying driving if they're ALSO not being allowed to go out on their own on transit or bicycles or whatever.
- ehnto 9y ago
  I don't think it's the direct relationship of the news stories, but rather the general atmosphere of fear and dread. Where I remember being care free and adventurous as a teen, which translates into a less inhibited and more adventurous social life. I also didn't have hours of endless entertainment at my fingertips, just lame country town TV.
  - Cthulhu_ 9y ago
    But that atmosphere was also here during and after WW2 up to the late 80's (the cold war and impending global thermonuclear war), the 60's / 70's (Vietnam war and being drafted). And yet there was the sexual revolution during that era. I don't think it's global fear because I think that used to be worse.
    - ehnto 9y ago
      That is true, perhaps it's not much of a contributing factor. I also assumed teens were worried by the news but thinking about it more I wonder if they even watch it or if the same kind of news is in the newer media distribution.
mahyarm 9y ago
I feel like dating is a good social experience to get started on in high school although. You learn a lot of social skills and things that you wouldn't learn anywhere else. Also driving is a good skill to learn while still living at the house, it's far more accessible when you don't have to pay for your own car. It's far more expensive to learn when you are in college.
crush-n-spread 9y ago
I see what you're saying about how they're being responsible by holding off on sex, cars, and drinking, but there is an opportunity cost in holding off on those three things - They miss out on the enormous compounding effects of having their own relationships, vehicles, and high-impact social gatherings happen 2-3 years earlier. Maybe an anecdote will be useful. I started dating, drinking, and driving at 15-16 y.o. All three of those activities have been formative in building my career as a tech worker. I had a choice to move to a big tech hub, and having a potential partner living in the target city was a key factor in moving. To even consider moving to the city, I needed to already be comfortable with packing up my life in my car and physically driving, which I had already been doing for years. Moving to the city was insanely stressful for 10 consecutive months, and I found that having an excessive amount of beer with a good friend was pivotal in helping me navigate my stressful, heavy emotions. In conclusion, you cannot grow up slowly and expect to do big things. You need to get comfortable being uncomfortable. There's no sense in keeping your kids away from real learning because you have some notion in your head about "responsible ages to do things". There is no goodness in slapping age requirements on activities and then stopping to think about it. And one more thing, WW2 produced the greatest generation of all time, the baby boomers - That war gave our nation a widespread sense of purpose and unity that has not been seen since. So while war is bad you must also consider that the stress of war creates great men that make great leaders.
- jimmaswell 9y ago
  The baby boomers are the ones who were born after WW2. "Hard times make strong men, strong men make good times, good times make weak men, weak men make hard times" is something I recently heard in regard to the ww2 and boomer generations, the implication being the boomers were the "weak men."
arkh 9y ago
> don't drink cause they're not 21 yet That's how you get drunk people once they're free to buy alcohol. Parents should help their children discover alcohol safely at home so it is not some mystical drink you can't wait to get your hands on. A glass of good wine here and there during family reunions, one or two beers with the barbecue, maybe some whiskey and vodka to learn what the good stuff tastes like. Suddenly it becomes "this drink with a special taste which gives you a light buzz".
- terminalcommand 9y ago
  I think alcohol consumption is tied with the social circle of teenagers. I was a shy, silent pupil at high school, but I knew how to play guitar. So I joined a band, and instantly started going out once a week to drink. None of us were old enough to drink, but we managed to find bars which allowed us a few drinks. For the dating part, I think this is tied up with the insecurity of kids nowadays. There is a lot of competition, the TV/internet is bombarding us with beauty ideals and perfect relationships. It is easy to give up and convince yourself that you'll be "forever alone". There are even communities online, where kids with no relationships hang out. And the longer they wait, the harder it gets for them to start a relationship. IMHO the kids need to find a way to bite the bullet and be social.
- Helloworldboy 9y ago
  > That's how you get drunk people once they're free to buy alcohol. This meme needs to die, it has no basis in reality.
- Cthulhu_ 9y ago
  Alternatively, drink too much right away, get really sick for a day and vow "never again!" Then do it again anyway because you forgot the hangovers.

rconti 9y ago

I liked how at the end of the article the mom classified behaviors as "all kinds of risky stuff that I can imagine would be age appropriate." Right. As if she was never that age :) Climate change seems like an odd thing to pick as a scary reason not to have sex or drink. Endless hysterical news stories about kids being abducted, maybe. It's hard to get too excited about kids delaying driving if they're ALSO not being allowed to go out on their own on transit or bicycles or whatever.

ehnto 9y ago
I don't think it's the direct relationship of the news stories, but rather the general atmosphere of fear and dread. Where I remember being care free and adventurous as a teen, which translates into a less inhibited and more adventurous social life. I also didn't have hours of endless entertainment at my fingertips, just lame country town TV.
- Cthulhu_ 9y ago
  But that atmosphere was also here during and after WW2 up to the late 80's (the cold war and impending global thermonuclear war), the 60's / 70's (Vietnam war and being drafted). And yet there was the sexual revolution during that era. I don't think it's global fear because I think that used to be worse.
  - ehnto 9y ago
    That is true, perhaps it's not much of a contributing factor. I also assumed teens were worried by the news but thinking about it more I wonder if they even watch it or if the same kind of news is in the newer media distribution.

mahyarm 9y ago

I feel like dating is a good social experience to get started on in high school although. You learn a lot of social skills and things that you wouldn't learn anywhere else. Also driving is a good skill to learn while still living at the house, it's far more accessible when you don't have to pay for your own car. It's far more expensive to learn when you are in college.

crush-n-spread 9y ago

I see what you're saying about how they're being responsible by holding off on sex, cars, and drinking, but there is an opportunity cost in holding off on those three things - They miss out on the enormous compounding effects of having their own relationships, vehicles, and high-impact social gatherings happen 2-3 years earlier. Maybe an anecdote will be useful. I started dating, drinking, and driving at 15-16 y.o. All three of those activities have been formative in building my career as a tech worker. I had a choice to move to a big tech hub, and having a potential partner living in the target city was a key factor in moving. To even consider moving to the city, I needed to already be comfortable with packing up my life in my car and physically driving, which I had already been doing for years. Moving to the city was insanely stressful for 10 consecutive months, and I found that having an excessive amount of beer with a good friend was pivotal in helping me navigate my stressful, heavy emotions. In conclusion, you cannot grow up slowly and expect to do big things. You need to get comfortable being uncomfortable. There's no sense in keeping your kids away from real learning because you have some notion in your head about "responsible ages to do things". There is no goodness in slapping age requirements on activities and then stopping to think about it. And one more thing, WW2 produced the greatest generation of all time, the baby boomers - That war gave our nation a widespread sense of purpose and unity that has not been seen since. So while war is bad you must also consider that the stress of war creates great men that make great leaders.

jimmaswell 9y ago
The baby boomers are the ones who were born after WW2. "Hard times make strong men, strong men make good times, good times make weak men, weak men make hard times" is something I recently heard in regard to the ww2 and boomer generations, the implication being the boomers were the "weak men."

arkh 9y ago

> don't drink cause they're not 21 yet That's how you get drunk people once they're free to buy alcohol. Parents should help their children discover alcohol safely at home so it is not some mystical drink you can't wait to get your hands on. A glass of good wine here and there during family reunions, one or two beers with the barbecue, maybe some whiskey and vodka to learn what the good stuff tastes like. Suddenly it becomes "this drink with a special taste which gives you a light buzz".

terminalcommand 9y ago
I think alcohol consumption is tied with the social circle of teenagers. I was a shy, silent pupil at high school, but I knew how to play guitar. So I joined a band, and instantly started going out once a week to drink. None of us were old enough to drink, but we managed to find bars which allowed us a few drinks. For the dating part, I think this is tied up with the insecurity of kids nowadays. There is a lot of competition, the TV/internet is bombarding us with beauty ideals and perfect relationships. It is easy to give up and convince yourself that you'll be "forever alone". There are even communities online, where kids with no relationships hang out. And the longer they wait, the harder it gets for them to start a relationship. IMHO the kids need to find a way to bite the bullet and be social.
Helloworldboy 9y ago
> That's how you get drunk people once they're free to buy alcohol. This meme needs to die, it has no basis in reality.
Cthulhu_ 9y ago
Alternatively, drink too much right away, get really sick for a day and vow "never again!" Then do it again anyway because you forgot the hangovers.