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Try to understand why the spouse is unsupportive. Did they have a reasonable expectation that you would be the primary "bread-winner" of the family. Do you hav

by credo 16y ago

Try to understand why the spouse is unsupportive. Did they have a reasonable expectation that you would be the primary "bread-winner" of the family. Do you have children and is the spouse concerned about their well-being ? Did you look at worst-case financial situations for your family and discuss that with your spouse ? Do you have a deadline for making reasonable money through your startup and have you told your spouse that you will go back to a regular job if the startup fails ? Does your spouse think that a startup may reduce your family-time ? Some of these questions may be relevant, some may not and there are other questions that I didn't list. Ultimately, though I'd go back what I first said. Your post doesn't say why your spouse/partner/SO is unsupportive. I think you need to find out why he/she is unsupportive before asking the next question of how to "convince them of the value of their endeavour"

michael_dorfman 16y ago
It's also worth saying that different people have different relationships to money. I know that seems obvious, but it's not. Different people conceptualize money in different ways, and most of us have very profound emotional connections to it and what it represents for us. So, I agree with the above poster: try to find out why your spouse is unsupportive, and be prepared to really listen to what s/he is telling you, on their own terms. Treat the analysis as you would a business problem: give it the full "5 Whys". For my part: I cashed out of my first start-up, and am now on my second. There's no doubt in my mind that my wife would be happier if I gave it up, and just got a salaried job somewhere stable. And there's no doubt in my wife's mind that I'd do exactly that, if my ability to provide adequate security for the family were at stake. That's a balance that seems to keep everyone happy, in our case.
unsupportive 16y ago
Thanks for your comment, I upvoted but wanted to respond - I believe the lack of support is very likely related to practical issues you mentioned especially the lack of family time and uncertainty about the outcome of the startup. Its apparent the way forward is to address each of these issues.
flashgordon 16y ago
Definitely. Another thing worth considering is their culture and a bit of their "history". My wife is very risk averse, but with reason. She actually had a bit of a bad run with entrepreneurship. Actually her dad, who I respect for having the balls to take a punt and give it a go (about 15/20 years ago), tried and failed and the family had to to into a bit of debt which it took them years to recover from. So from that perspective she (like many people) view risk as a 0 or 1 thing. My way around it (almost) was to explain all actions (and risks associated with them) and having (or atleast trying to show) backup plans. Even if it means moon lighting (which is slow and painful but much better than no support from your SO). And giving a time frame helps and it also makes you more serious.

by credo 16y ago

michael_dorfman 16y ago

It's also worth saying that different people have different relationships to money. I know that seems obvious, but it's not. Different people conceptualize money in different ways, and most of us have very profound emotional connections to it and what it represents for us. So, I agree with the above poster: try to find out why your spouse is unsupportive, and be prepared to really listen to what s/he is telling you, on their own terms. Treat the analysis as you would a business problem: give it the full "5 Whys". For my part: I cashed out of my first start-up, and am now on my second. There's no doubt in my mind that my wife would be happier if I gave it up, and just got a salaried job somewhere stable. And there's no doubt in my wife's mind that I'd do exactly that, if my ability to provide adequate security for the family were at stake. That's a balance that seems to keep everyone happy, in our case.

unsupportive 16y ago

Thanks for your comment, I upvoted but wanted to respond - I believe the lack of support is very likely related to practical issues you mentioned especially the lack of family time and uncertainty about the outcome of the startup. Its apparent the way forward is to address each of these issues.

flashgordon 16y ago

Definitely. Another thing worth considering is their culture and a bit of their "history". My wife is very risk averse, but with reason. She actually had a bit of a bad run with entrepreneurship. Actually her dad, who I respect for having the balls to take a punt and give it a go (about 15/20 years ago), tried and failed and the family had to to into a bit of debt which it took them years to recover from. So from that perspective she (like many people) view risk as a 0 or 1 thing. My way around it (almost) was to explain all actions (and risks associated with them) and having (or atleast trying to show) backup plans. Even if it means moon lighting (which is slow and painful but much better than no support from your SO). And giving a time frame helps and it also makes you more serious.