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>It seems like people becoming increasingly physically isolated and not connecting even with neighbors makes online connections valuable. This kind of thinking

>It seems like people becoming increasingly physically isolated and not connecting even with neighbors makes online connections valuable. This kind of thinking never held much water with me. You don't get to choose your neighbors, the odds that they'll be compatible with you in the way that might lead to meaningful friendships is extremely low. None of my parents friends are former neighbors. Lots of them are former church-goers from the various churches they've attended though. I think that shows that you really only need one thing in common to help filter out the majority of the population. If you like bowling, take up bowling, and I bet you'll find quite a few people you get on with quite well. Ditto paintball, and obviously ditto friday night drinking. But the idea that Facebook is "ruining the connection we used to have with the people around us" is pretty much nonsense. We never really cared that much about the people around us, neighbors were always just acquaintances.

kelnos 9y ago
Very much agreed. I've lived in the bay area for 13 years, in apartments with at least 20 units in them (usually many more), and I have not known even one of my neighbors. Beyond that, I have a very healthy in-person social life filled with people I've met through other avenues. Even though you'd think it'd be easy to do so, I just don't have much interest in meeting the other people who live in my building. This isn't universal, of course -- one of my good friends lives in a building with 4 units, and he knows everyone who lives there. Diff'rent strokes, I guess. I wonder if knowing your neighbors is more of a suburban/rural/family thing? When I was growing up (suburbs of NJ and later MD), we always at least knew the people who lived on our block, even if we weren't close friends with them.
- Sir_Substance 9y ago
  >I wonder if knowing your neighbors is more of a suburban/rural/family thing? Mutual self-interest brings neighbors together. The further out in the sticks you are and/or the lower income your neighborhood is, the more you get out of a firm working understanding with your neighbors.
newscracker 9y ago
You may be partially right. A few hours after I posted the comment, I realized that the urban vs. rural difference is also a factor here (like kilnos described in another comment). Before we had much larger concentrations of human population in cities, it seemed to me that people were a bit more than acquaintances even with neighbors. May not have been the thickest of friends, but were still around to connect with, gossip, reach out for some quick help, etc. I'm sure there were variations across geographies and cultures, but a "modern city life" has made many people more busy and stressed to form such connections and keep up.

kelnos 9y ago

Very much agreed. I've lived in the bay area for 13 years, in apartments with at least 20 units in them (usually many more), and I have not known even one of my neighbors. Beyond that, I have a very healthy in-person social life filled with people I've met through other avenues. Even though you'd think it'd be easy to do so, I just don't have much interest in meeting the other people who live in my building. This isn't universal, of course -- one of my good friends lives in a building with 4 units, and he knows everyone who lives there. Diff'rent strokes, I guess. I wonder if knowing your neighbors is more of a suburban/rural/family thing? When I was growing up (suburbs of NJ and later MD), we always at least knew the people who lived on our block, even if we weren't close friends with them.

Sir_Substance 9y ago
>I wonder if knowing your neighbors is more of a suburban/rural/family thing? Mutual self-interest brings neighbors together. The further out in the sticks you are and/or the lower income your neighborhood is, the more you get out of a firm working understanding with your neighbors.

newscracker 9y ago

You may be partially right. A few hours after I posted the comment, I realized that the urban vs. rural difference is also a factor here (like kilnos described in another comment). Before we had much larger concentrations of human population in cities, it seemed to me that people were a bit more than acquaintances even with neighbors. May not have been the thickest of friends, but were still around to connect with, gossip, reach out for some quick help, etc. I'm sure there were variations across geographies and cultures, but a "modern city life" has made many people more busy and stressed to form such connections and keep up.