At 17 I had a psychotic breakdown and was diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder. I broke down and told the school counselor about the "bad thoughts" I was hav

At 17 I had a psychotic breakdown and was diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder. I broke down and told the school counselor about the "bad thoughts" I was having (suicidal and homicidal) and was suspended. I had to miss a month or so of my senior year because I was doing an outpatient program. I lost most of my friends and ended up losing the chance to go to the college I was accepted at in one a relatively exclusive part of the college (James Madison College at Michigan State). But that was just the beginning. Because of the medicine I was put on and the lack of gym class after graduating I gained about 150 lbs in the span of a couple months. I had always been underweight (6' 3" and ~145 lbs) despite eating a lot because I was very active. That all changed. I ended up going to a community college and attempted suicide, twice. The first time was serious attempt trying to OD on Klonipin. I spent about a week inpatient at that time at the local psychiatric ward. The second time I tried to overdose on Tylenol. I don't recall letting anybody know about that so I didn't have to go to the hospital. Fast forward to today. I'm a software developer (which is a far cry from the International Relations degree I originally wanted) and married. I still have homicidal thoughts and visions but overall the medicine I'm on helps greatly. I'm married to an amazing woman and really enjoy my life.