4 ms·

Look I am intersexed and I have dealt with such stuff all of my life. The one thing I have learnt is that we aren't blank slates, but we aren't mentally enginee

Look I am intersexed and I have dealt with such stuff all of my life. The one thing I have learnt is that we aren't blank slates, but we aren't mentally engineered either. It is true that environment plays a huge role in the development of a child, but please understand this. Gender is something that is innate to your mind. Be it through proprioception or something more complex than that. It is etched in you in the womb and the way it expresses itself is something that is acquired in tandem with the environment. Now understand this too, gender is a spectrum. What most talks center around are the peaks of the two bell curves, but there are lots of folks on either sides. There are kind, sensitive men and abusive, viscous women. The truth is just like skin color gender isn't exactly something to go on when dealing with another human being. Some people tend to conform, but a lot of folks don't and those are the interesting ones. I feel like laughing my head off each time I read such things. It is true that it sucks to be a woman, but it sucks to be a man too. I will say this again and again, when you see the spaces society creates as an outsider then you begin to understand that things aren't absolute. I am sub-human to most people, and my right to access a lot of spaces that most readers of this thread take for granted is fought out in courts around the world. To most people I am a freak, but they don't understand. They've been taught to see a world that can fit in neat boxes, only that nature doesn't really care. [edit: This sounds really mean and rude when I read it again before going to sleep. To any reader I assure you this was not my intention. I am sorry if I came across like that to you.] What I am trying to say is that don't create women only spaces, or LGBTI friendly spaces, or anything like that. Create human friendly spaces. Embrace and accept the differences in others and only then can you see that the world is far more complex than any label we can slap on top of it. [edit: forgot grammar and spell check. Sorry.]

kaens 16y ago
I'm on the same page regarding gender and the need for an effort for "human friendly spaces". I've been phrasing things in a binary-gender manner because gender being a spectrum is a bit tangential and distracting to the point here, and is something that a much lower percentage of the population seems to have waken up to. FWIW, I've spent a fair amount of time explaining that it doesn't just suck to be a woman, or a man, or a whatever to people. I think it's very hard for people to see how much assumptions about the way people are supposed to act based on their appearances or physical features really affect peoples day-to-day lives. Whether that's avoidable or not is another discussion. Anyhow, I wish you luck.
- todayiamme 16y ago
  Interesting. I really wish that more people like you existed in this world. Can I ask you something? How did you get interested in this? If you don't mind can you please drop me a line at yesthisisananonymousid [at] google mail? Thank you. [edit: This might sound weird to you, but I would really love to talk to you. All of my life I have to fake being a boy for the benefit of my parents. I have to talk differently, walk differently, gesture differently, adjust my posture differently, look at things differently. The lines were drawn in my childhood; I was either a boy or it was the streets for me. Of course, I doubt it that my parents would have acted on that threat, but growing up with such stuff changed me. It's like someone stole my childhood from me. I don't know what it is like to have a normal life anymore. It's something really profound to meet someone who just gets it without saying. Please do indulge me with that. Oh and my parents aren't monsters they just followed the status quo. I love them and I shall continue to love them no matter what.]
  - kaens 16y ago
    I'd be glad to. I'll email you either tonight or tomorrow, probably tonight.

kaens 16y ago

I'm on the same page regarding gender and the need for an effort for "human friendly spaces". I've been phrasing things in a binary-gender manner because gender being a spectrum is a bit tangential and distracting to the point here, and is something that a much lower percentage of the population seems to have waken up to. FWIW, I've spent a fair amount of time explaining that it doesn't just suck to be a woman, or a man, or a whatever to people. I think it's very hard for people to see how much assumptions about the way people are supposed to act based on their appearances or physical features really affect peoples day-to-day lives. Whether that's avoidable or not is another discussion. Anyhow, I wish you luck.

todayiamme 16y ago
Interesting. I really wish that more people like you existed in this world. Can I ask you something? How did you get interested in this? If you don't mind can you please drop me a line at yesthisisananonymousid [at] google mail? Thank you. [edit: This might sound weird to you, but I would really love to talk to you. All of my life I have to fake being a boy for the benefit of my parents. I have to talk differently, walk differently, gesture differently, adjust my posture differently, look at things differently. The lines were drawn in my childhood; I was either a boy or it was the streets for me. Of course, I doubt it that my parents would have acted on that threat, but growing up with such stuff changed me. It's like someone stole my childhood from me. I don't know what it is like to have a normal life anymore. It's something really profound to meet someone who just gets it without saying. Please do indulge me with that. Oh and my parents aren't monsters they just followed the status quo. I love them and I shall continue to love them no matter what.]
- kaens 16y ago
  I'd be glad to. I'll email you either tonight or tomorrow, probably tonight.