I too sometimes have bouts of suicidal ideation. When I was younger, they were much worse/more frequent than they are now. In general, the realization that deat

I too sometimes have bouts of suicidal ideation. When I was younger, they were much worse/more frequent than they are now. In general, the realization that death is, at least currently, inevitable has helped me deal with them. If your suicidal thoughts are rooted in personal suffering, the realization that you have control over how you perceive events can be helpful. Instead of having to walk in a blizzard, you're getting to feel stuff you normally don't. I'm not a spiritual person by any means, but I think that realizing that desire and suffering are intertwined is a good thing to realize. If your suicidal ideation is caused by a more existential type of angst, I can recommend "The Myth of Sisyphus" by Camus. It helped me come to terms with the absurdity of existence more than just about anything else, but what worked for me may not work for you. Other than advice already stated in this thread, that's about all I can offer without knowing you or your situation. One more thing: your life will change. It may get "better", it may get "worse", but it will not stagnate. You are ever-changing, and will be until you end, and at the moment it is a certainty that you will end. I, and most others here I'm sure, don't recommend rushing it along -- even if your experience of consciousness is ridiculously hard to bear right now, there's no way to know if it will always be that way without living, and as far as I can tell it is most often not always that way.