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My mother has a saying: "No is a complete sentence." In North America, we live in a "default yes" sort of work culture. We say "yes" to every request at work

My mother has a saying: "No is a complete sentence." In North America, we live in a "default yes" sort of work culture. We say "yes" to every request at work until we're overcommitted and then we burn out. Why do we say "yes"? Here are some reasons I detected in myself: * Afraid to rock the boat, to appear uncooperative. * My own ego. Sometimes I think I have a a super clever way to solve a problem and I say "yes" so I can show off. * Not thinking it through. Sometimes I say "yes" before thinking the problem through, and the problem ends up being way bigger than it first seemed.

zimpenfish 9y ago
> Sometimes I say "yes" before thinking the problem through, and the problem ends up being way bigger than it first seemed. My stance at work is that my default answer is "No. But..."[1] I've seen too many developers wanting to show how clever they are saying an immediate "yes" to things (because obviously anything is doable when you're a clever developer!) and then spending months bitching about the sales people / managers / customers who asked for the thing THEY AGREED TO DO. Easier to start with "No." and then pivot into "But" with the angle of finding out exactly what's involved, what alternatives would work, etc. [1] I should point out that this does not make me a popular employee but it does make me productive in that I always deliver what I say I will.
- gerbilly 9y ago
  > [...] and then spending months bitching about the sales people / managers / customers who asked for the thing THEY AGREED TO DO. This is a legitimate critique of the worker, but some workplaces have this culture where PMs stalk the office looking for 'resources' to work on projects to promote their career. In cases like that, they may mislead you while selling you on the idea in order to get you on board.
  - zimpenfish 9y ago
    > In cases like that, they may mislead you while selling you on the idea Of course, that's always possible but a perfect example of why the "No. But..." protects you from landing yourself in a nightmare.

zimpenfish 9y ago

> Sometimes I say "yes" before thinking the problem through, and the problem ends up being way bigger than it first seemed. My stance at work is that my default answer is "No. But..."[1] I've seen too many developers wanting to show how clever they are saying an immediate "yes" to things (because obviously anything is doable when you're a clever developer!) and then spending months bitching about the sales people / managers / customers who asked for the thing THEY AGREED TO DO. Easier to start with "No." and then pivot into "But" with the angle of finding out exactly what's involved, what alternatives would work, etc. [1] I should point out that this does not make me a popular employee but it does make me productive in that I always deliver what I say I will.

gerbilly 9y ago
> [...] and then spending months bitching about the sales people / managers / customers who asked for the thing THEY AGREED TO DO. This is a legitimate critique of the worker, but some workplaces have this culture where PMs stalk the office looking for 'resources' to work on projects to promote their career. In cases like that, they may mislead you while selling you on the idea in order to get you on board.
- zimpenfish 9y ago
  > In cases like that, they may mislead you while selling you on the idea Of course, that's always possible but a perfect example of why the "No. But..." protects you from landing yourself in a nightmare.