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Some may consider it to be a bad situation. No need to shame individuals that find fulfillment in managing a home for their loving family.

by needz 9y ago

watwut 9y ago
I mean, sure, but I did not shamed anybody. The perception in parent is not good in long term. If you feel the need to agree, basically because you perceive partner to 'do the big important thing' while you perceive yourself to do 'just a small less important things' then agreements might be pleasant for partner for a while, but it will cost. It will be hit for your self regard, ressentement and unappreciation will build up over time and that will affect everything. Even worst if partner believes so. Real life is not romantic familly movie. It just does not work in such simplistic idyllic way. Definitely not when motivation for roles split is the wish that partner agrees with you more often - due to partner perceiving herself as giving less. That is parents iterpretation, not mine.
- needz 9y ago
  Your original statement that being a stay at home wife was a "shitty situation" was a blanket statement with no qualifications. Thank you for clarifying the exact conditions of what you consider a raw deal. I want to add that, at least in my opinion, managing a home is no less important than providing the means to do so if both partners are gratified by the resulting homelife.
  - watwut 9y ago
    I find that shitty situation in moder world in general too, yes. There are multiple factors that make it depressive situation - the period while moms stay home with child is considered risk factor for alcoholism for a reason. I haven't seen much gratification inreal world either, where it was done, more like unhappiness and depression in situation where you are supposed to be happy and not supposed to complain. I dunno. Guys who work long hours and are never home tend to talk about gratifying home life waaay more often then women who stay at home while children were small. You don't hear such romantic odes on it even from stay at home moms who actually found a way to be content. And when you mention negatives of that lifestyle, they don't get offended about hearing them like workoholic dudes apparently get offended (at least rush to downvote).

Some may consider it to be a bad situation. No need to shame individuals that find fulfillment in managing a home for their loving family.

by needz 9y ago

Some may consider it to be a bad situation. No need to shame individuals that find fulfillment in managing a home for their loving family.

watwut 9y ago

I mean, sure, but I did not shamed anybody. The perception in parent is not good in long term. If you feel the need to agree, basically because you perceive partner to 'do the big important thing' while you perceive yourself to do 'just a small less important things' then agreements might be pleasant for partner for a while, but it will cost. It will be hit for your self regard, ressentement and unappreciation will build up over time and that will affect everything. Even worst if partner believes so. Real life is not romantic familly movie. It just does not work in such simplistic idyllic way. Definitely not when motivation for roles split is the wish that partner agrees with you more often - due to partner perceiving herself as giving less. That is parents iterpretation, not mine.

needz 9y ago
Your original statement that being a stay at home wife was a "shitty situation" was a blanket statement with no qualifications. Thank you for clarifying the exact conditions of what you consider a raw deal. I want to add that, at least in my opinion, managing a home is no less important than providing the means to do so if both partners are gratified by the resulting homelife.
- watwut 9y ago
  I find that shitty situation in moder world in general too, yes. There are multiple factors that make it depressive situation - the period while moms stay home with child is considered risk factor for alcoholism for a reason. I haven't seen much gratification inreal world either, where it was done, more like unhappiness and depression in situation where you are supposed to be happy and not supposed to complain. I dunno. Guys who work long hours and are never home tend to talk about gratifying home life waaay more often then women who stay at home while children were small. You don't hear such romantic odes on it even from stay at home moms who actually found a way to be content. And when you mention negatives of that lifestyle, they don't get offended about hearing them like workoholic dudes apparently get offended (at least rush to downvote).