this falls under the work-to-live/live-to-work question. i've found in my adopted city that 90% of the people here live to work, which (i think) is pretty typic

this falls under the work-to-live/live-to-work question. i've found in my adopted city that 90% of the people here live to work, which (i think) is pretty typical in western (american) culture. career == life-fulfillment/self actualization. there is nothing wrong with what you're going through, you are just redefining yourself. take dermidgen's advice and get a hobby. take up something that you can invest yourself in outside of computing. if that's coding something not work related, great. if that's finding a more physically challenging hobby, go for it. personally, i took up triathlon about a year ago and it completely changed my life. 3 sports each with it's own challenges. it's a bit pricey to get into but, it's time-consuming and there are an incredible number of attractive women that participate in the world of multi-sport (ie: triathlon clubs). i also do an outside project with a friend which keeps me learning new things. Last idea, Take a foreign language class.