I'm very similar to you and grappled with the same issues. What really changed for me was reading some Hindu philosophy. I'm Indian and Hindu by birth but have

I'm very similar to you and grappled with the same issues. What really changed for me was reading some Hindu philosophy. I'm Indian and Hindu by birth but have been agnostic pretty much all my life. I looked into the philosophical component of Hinduism out of curiosity. The heart of Hindu philosophy is in the Gita. The core idea of Gita is to "do your duty regardless of the results" This is a belief I've now come to embrace wholeheartedly. I've stopped bothering with the results. I've stopped bothering with what others are doing. I only focus on what I CAN do - my duty - and forget about the rest. Relinquishing control has been a great thing