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"If the only thing that keeps someone motivated in life is the fear of dying alone, I'd rather not be involved with that person. In fact, I'd much rather not ev
by Rod 16y ago
"If the only thing that keeps someone motivated in life is the fear of dying alone, I'd rather not be involved with that person. In fact, I'd much rather not even know that person."
I am with you on this one. A 22 y.o. who's in a bland relationship because of fear of dying alone does not deserve my respect. But fear of dying alone is not the only fear. Everyone craves for approval, and everyone is hurt by rejection. Moreover, losing someone with whom one had a deep connection is painful, and normal humans tend to avoid pain. Therefore, I would say that fear in a relationship is a cocktail of various different fears, some better than others. Having said that, I still claim that fearing losing the other is a good thing, as lack of any kind of fear is a symptom that something is fundamentally wrong.
- philwelch 16y agoWhat motivates me to live well is my fear is of losing the respect and approval of myself, and what motivates me to love and respect my partner is the genuine love and respect I feel for my partner. I don't think anything is fundamentally wrong with that. I'm normally a big proponent of fear, but in other parts of life--not love.
- Rod 16y agoI am done with talking about relationships. Since you brought up Violent Acres on the other post, I merely add that someone has put my thoughts into prose more eloquently at http://www.violentacres.com/archives/100/dating-is-competitive-manipulation/ http://www.violentacres.com/archives/100/dating-is-competiti...