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Don't worry it happens to the best of us. I had a similar situation and it lasted for quite some time. Actually it lasted until I left the employer I was at. Th
by kls 16y ago
Don't worry it happens to the best of us. I had a similar situation and it lasted for quite some time. Actually it lasted until I left the employer I was at. There are a lot of below the surface issues that can affect your ability to develop optimally, language, platform, the code base can all have an effect, even office politics can have an effect on your code quality.
In some ways we are like athletes, where better skills separate the superstar from the average and the superstars really shine. But just like athletes we have our slumps, which you are probably in. Averaged out over a career though they are brief even if they last a couple of years.
To me if I had to play 1000 ft view arm chair psychologist, I would say it is most likely your job, their is no passion and without it there is no dedication to producing quality work. Over time this has a compounding effect. I personally got to the point where I did not want to learn new technologies which, if you knew me is a very strange turn of events. I tinker with everything, trucks, computers, low tech camping and wilderness tech, solar / clean energy, bio-diesel, you name it and I tinker with it.
Anyway point being it can drag you that low, where you loose passion for the basis that got you here. That is when it becomes dangerous and when it required immediate action.
So lets get to the important part, how did I break the spell? by doing exactly what I did not want to do, on nights and weekends I started coding my own side project, it was like pulling nails at first but then things started to spark again.
Planning and design started to occupy my mind again, efficiency of code and modularity dominated my curiosity. The wheel started turning again and I got sharper, my code quality went up and I was happier even in my private life. That project ended up pulling me out of that job and out on my own
When I stated it I subconsciously agree to my self that even if it was a flop I was doing this for therapy. I also agreed amongst myself to never tell myself that again because I needed the belief that this was going to carry me somewhere else. That prepared me for the fact that it could fail and would soften it with the fact that I achieved the goal of rehabilitating myself. While also providing the hope that it could turn into something that will change my life. It did on both accounts.
I have been there, if you need someone to talk to my email is in my profile. I can help you with ideas for projects and help you with what I did to navigate certain mental demons in that situation (e.g procrastination, lack of motivation). It's tough and it is a form of depression, the sooner you break the cycle the easier it will be to recover.