3 ms·
I read the Neil Strauss book--it's fascinating and fun. But there was one story in there that really summed up the entire culture for me. The story is about a
by tonystubblebine 16y ago
I read the Neil Strauss book--it's fascinating and fun. But there was one story in there that really summed up the entire culture for me.
The story is about a new PUA posting to a message board. The first post was how excited he was and how he had set a goal to approach 50 women in one day. His second post was about how he had actually accomplished that goal and he was going to set a second goal of asking for 100 phone numbers in one week. His third post was about how happy he was with the process and how he was positive that he would be getting laid within a year. In summary, his definition of success was that after one year of making picking up women his full time job he would get laid once.
That story clued me in to the real strength of the PUA method. It appeals to men enough to turn wall flowers into people actively seeking dates. But the efficiency of that method is laughably bad (not to mention the outcomes being shallow).
- rapind 16y agohappiness = success / expectations
- JeffL 16y agoInteresting idea. But is doubling ones success really equivalent to halving ones expectations? I feel torn between the two. On the one hand is the American/start up/self-help trend of going out and getting lots of success, and on the other is the more Buddhist view of eliminating desire. If happiness follow the above formula, is there a way to say one way is better than the other?
- rapind 16y agoI'd say halving your expectations itself is rather successful. Doesn't seem to me like the easiest thing to do. I think most of us are influenced by how other people view us to a varying degree, which raises our expectations of ourselves (keeping up with the jones'). I can't say if one is better than the other, but I'd envy you more for eliminating desire. Seems far more daunting to me.
- jessriedel 16y ago> But the efficiency of that method is laughably bad Based on one anecdote from the book? The PUA methods attracts guys who are terrible with women. It's not surprising that there cases where the guys isn't going to improve much. This isn't an argument against the ideas or methods.
- tonystubblebine 16y agoNo, not based on one anecdote from the book. I'm using that anecdote to summarize the entire movement based on reading the entire book. I thought that there were several cases where a lot of time was spent without much payoff.
- jessriedel 16y agoBut if you offered a man who was utterly unable to attract woman 40% odds of acquiring just 1 or 2 partners per year through PUA methods (and a 60% chance of no returns) I think he would (rationally) invest a huge amount of time into this.