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Yes I know it works [...] Only for some very silly definition of "works". If you want to methodically outsmart people, you can play chess. Doing it in a romant

by andreyf 16y ago

Yes I know it works [...] Only for some very silly definition of "works". If you want to methodically outsmart people, you can play chess. Doing it in a romantic relationship completely defeats the point. Romantic relationships aren't about following rules, they're about exposing yourself to someone without a moment of hesitation. Yes, doing so risks the most acute of pain, but it can also hold the most sincere of pleasure. And if that isn't nice, I don't know what is. :)

detst 16y ago
I think you're missing the point. As an example, you could be "exposing yourself to someone without a moment of hesitation" and be desperate or clingy. Desperate and clingy are things most people find unattractive. That's just the way it is so it's probably good to follow the rule that says not to do this. It's entirely possible to learn the things that attract people and do those things; to learn the things that are unattractive and not do those things, all while being yourself.
- andreyf 16y ago
  you could be "exposing yourself to someone without a moment of hesitation" and be desperate or clingy Well, everyone has feelings of insecurity, and there's no shortage of women who understand that. To the contrary, I think it's a good litmus test for a woman worth dating. If your feelings of insecurity are so so extensive as to be desperate, needy, clingy, etc., it's probably a good sign you shouldn't be trying to start a relationship to begin with, most certainly not a dishonest one.
  - detst 16y ago
    Again you aren't getting what it's all about. Being desperate or clingy is not always a manifestation of insecurity. It's possible to act desperate or come on too strong and not even realize it. But this is just one example. You seem to refuse to accept that someone can be perfectly capable of being in a relationship while not realizing that they may be doing things that are off-putting; things that aren't defining characteristics. Nothing I've said is about dishonesty. And to be clear, my views here are primarily related to the very early stages (even if they still apply later on); literally just meeting someone and the time that follows. At these times, a girl needs a reason to talk to you over the 50 other guys that have approached her that day. There are countless things you can do/not do without being fake that might give you the upper hand.
Helianthus16 16y ago
Without a moment of hesitation? Ha. I'm no PUA, but I doubt you fall in love at the drop of a hat. And if you do spot a girl across a crowded room, and think, By God, I'm in love!, you're not going to walk over there and tell her that on the spot. Relationship protocols are designed around taking acceptable risks. Just because you're playing for real beating hearts doesn't mean there isn't a game.

by andreyf 16y ago

detst 16y ago

I think you're missing the point. As an example, you could be "exposing yourself to someone without a moment of hesitation" and be desperate or clingy. Desperate and clingy are things most people find unattractive. That's just the way it is so it's probably good to follow the rule that says not to do this. It's entirely possible to learn the things that attract people and do those things; to learn the things that are unattractive and not do those things, all while being yourself.

andreyf 16y ago
you could be "exposing yourself to someone without a moment of hesitation" and be desperate or clingy Well, everyone has feelings of insecurity, and there's no shortage of women who understand that. To the contrary, I think it's a good litmus test for a woman worth dating. If your feelings of insecurity are so so extensive as to be desperate, needy, clingy, etc., it's probably a good sign you shouldn't be trying to start a relationship to begin with, most certainly not a dishonest one.
- detst 16y ago
  Again you aren't getting what it's all about. Being desperate or clingy is not always a manifestation of insecurity. It's possible to act desperate or come on too strong and not even realize it. But this is just one example. You seem to refuse to accept that someone can be perfectly capable of being in a relationship while not realizing that they may be doing things that are off-putting; things that aren't defining characteristics. Nothing I've said is about dishonesty. And to be clear, my views here are primarily related to the very early stages (even if they still apply later on); literally just meeting someone and the time that follows. At these times, a girl needs a reason to talk to you over the 50 other guys that have approached her that day. There are countless things you can do/not do without being fake that might give you the upper hand.

Helianthus16 16y ago

Without a moment of hesitation? Ha. I'm no PUA, but I doubt you fall in love at the drop of a hat. And if you do spot a girl across a crowded room, and think, By God, I'm in love!, you're not going to walk over there and tell her that on the spot. Relationship protocols are designed around taking acceptable risks. Just because you're playing for real beating hearts doesn't mean there isn't a game.