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At the same time the stereotypical 'nice guy' isn't really being himself either, he's crafting a personality that he intuitively thinks will attract women by ki

At the same time the stereotypical 'nice guy' isn't really being himself either, he's crafting a personality that he intuitively thinks will attract women by kissing their ass incessantly. He just happens to have the wrong idea. I think there's something to be said for the middle ground of learning the lessons of pickup artists but not the message.

sliverstorm 16y ago
And what makes you so sure women don't enjoy a little (ahem) ass kissing? I have it on first-hand account that some do... edit: I'm not sure if people don't like my sarcasm, don't understand what I actually meant, or are just close-minded.
- mambodog 16y ago
  I'm sure they enjoy it, that doesn't mean they will respect you more or be more attracted to you for it.
  - sliverstorm 16y ago
    I don't think you understood me there (ahem)... ;)
    - jhamburger 16y ago
      har har
- sliverstorm 16y ago
  If you're gonna downvote something straight into the basement, some kind of reply is appreciated... EDIT: logical conclusion: I actually managed to send HN'ers into an illogical blind rage. props to me. Oh look, there goes my respect for the place. <- did I get it right?
  - philk 16y ago
    For better or for worse humor is a shaky proposition here.
    - sliverstorm 16y ago
      If by 'here' you mean HN, you have me baffled. Since when is it a humorless place? Thanks at least for saying something. :)
      - ramchip 16y ago
        Humor is fine, but stuff that sounds childish (4chan memes, fart jokes), or sarcastic tends to get downvoted. IMHO with good reason: sarcasm isn't a good way to make a point. Sarcasm is about making your conversation partner look like a tool instead of bringing up an actual justification for your point of view. Good debate should be done with a "cold, hard facts" attitude and a non-aggressive tone. It's fortunate that even with the constant change in the user base, HN still strongly encourages moderate posts. I actually upvoted you because I think -4 is overkill, but I must admit I don't get the point of your post. I don't personally see it as sarcasm... just a failed joke?
  - mbateman 16y ago
    1) Very often clever quips, even if they are funny, distract from the conversation. Being overly strict about this helps keep the place from devolving into a jokefest like so many other forums. 2) Some people will vote you down for complaining about downvoting. I sympathize with both of these rules of thumb, for what it's worth. EDIT: For some reason the "reply" link below your post is missing for me, so I'll just clarify a bit here, more than I usually would since this is a thread about gaming social norms. ;) Rule of thumb #2 also stands for asking for clarification about downvoting. Especially when you do it 3 times: by editing your original post, then replying to it, and then editing the reply. And especially when you seem defensive about it. Keep in mind that if you get "downvoted into the basement", it's not just one person downvoting you, it's at least 5. You've probably violated some implicit norm. Repeatedly asking for clarification is kind of its own awkward thing in these circumstances (especially with some manners of asking). Imagine if you make a joke in a group of friends and people obviously don't think it's funny. It's not cool to demand an explanation, like people somehow owe it to you to explain why and how you screwed up. Usually better to suck it up and move on, and try to learn from the experience.

sliverstorm 16y ago

And what makes you so sure women don't enjoy a little (ahem) ass kissing? I have it on first-hand account that some do... edit: I'm not sure if people don't like my sarcasm, don't understand what I actually meant, or are just close-minded.

mambodog 16y ago
I'm sure they enjoy it, that doesn't mean they will respect you more or be more attracted to you for it.
- sliverstorm 16y ago
  I don't think you understood me there (ahem)... ;)
  - jhamburger 16y ago
    har har
sliverstorm 16y ago
If you're gonna downvote something straight into the basement, some kind of reply is appreciated... EDIT: logical conclusion: I actually managed to send HN'ers into an illogical blind rage. props to me. Oh look, there goes my respect for the place. <- did I get it right?
- philk 16y ago
  For better or for worse humor is a shaky proposition here.
  - sliverstorm 16y ago
    If by 'here' you mean HN, you have me baffled. Since when is it a humorless place? Thanks at least for saying something. :)
    - ramchip 16y ago
      Humor is fine, but stuff that sounds childish (4chan memes, fart jokes), or sarcastic tends to get downvoted. IMHO with good reason: sarcasm isn't a good way to make a point. Sarcasm is about making your conversation partner look like a tool instead of bringing up an actual justification for your point of view. Good debate should be done with a "cold, hard facts" attitude and a non-aggressive tone. It's fortunate that even with the constant change in the user base, HN still strongly encourages moderate posts. I actually upvoted you because I think -4 is overkill, but I must admit I don't get the point of your post. I don't personally see it as sarcasm... just a failed joke?
- mbateman 16y ago
  1) Very often clever quips, even if they are funny, distract from the conversation. Being overly strict about this helps keep the place from devolving into a jokefest like so many other forums. 2) Some people will vote you down for complaining about downvoting. I sympathize with both of these rules of thumb, for what it's worth. EDIT: For some reason the "reply" link below your post is missing for me, so I'll just clarify a bit here, more than I usually would since this is a thread about gaming social norms. ;) Rule of thumb #2 also stands for asking for clarification about downvoting. Especially when you do it 3 times: by editing your original post, then replying to it, and then editing the reply. And especially when you seem defensive about it. Keep in mind that if you get "downvoted into the basement", it's not just one person downvoting you, it's at least 5. You've probably violated some implicit norm. Repeatedly asking for clarification is kind of its own awkward thing in these circumstances (especially with some manners of asking). Imagine if you make a joke in a group of friends and people obviously don't think it's funny. It's not cool to demand an explanation, like people somehow owe it to you to explain why and how you screwed up. Usually better to suck it up and move on, and try to learn from the experience.