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This looks like terrible advice. It is defeatist (you can't do anything about most of your situation - false, as other comments have pointed out) and where it d

This looks like terrible advice. It is defeatist (you can't do anything about most of your situation - false, as other comments have pointed out) and where it does offer some suggestion, it is to do stuff that the OP has already ruled out and which will obviously contribute to the OP getting even more stressed. And it feels like unrealistic advice too... you can't "learn everything", or anywhere near everything, of any deep topic like web development. Just thinking about trying to do that seems likely to be panic inducing to anyone who has any notion of how big a field that is. I would recommend reading the many other helpful posts here for ideas of better advice to offer someone in this situation. This ain't it, imho.

seabird 9y ago
There's a difference between defeatism and and realism. A demanding family life can't really change in a way that's any less than serious and far-reaching; any recommendation in this department is hugely personal and runs deep. A stressful working environment is something that can be fixed, but requires negotiating more accommodating conditions; this is neither quick nor reliable in many cases. In an extreme case, the OP could look for a place of work that has a more fitting pace/culture, but this is an entirely non-trivial change. RSI is a medical circumstance that no wishful thinking can change (short of best practice to avoid it). The same goes for aging and passage of time. Can the OP make these entirely non-trivial, life-changing decisions and achieve a significant improvement? Of course, and I'd encourage him to do so, but that's personal beyond what many of us are able to help him with. Can the OP treat the symptoms of a lifestyle/occupation that puts him under extreme stress? Sure, but that's not actually fixing the underlying issue, and patchwork solutions may not hold. Of the underlying causes he mentioned, there's one he can address without having to go all in; keeping up the best he can with his field of work and how it is changing. Everything about web development has changed, and it's entirely understandable that he feels out of his element when his job has become absurdly complex almost overnight. That type of environment can make you feel like a dullard, a slow learner, or even an imposter who is holding a position under a false pretense. The way to beat that feeling is to prove to yourself that it isn't true.

seabird 9y ago

There's a difference between defeatism and and realism. A demanding family life can't really change in a way that's any less than serious and far-reaching; any recommendation in this department is hugely personal and runs deep. A stressful working environment is something that can be fixed, but requires negotiating more accommodating conditions; this is neither quick nor reliable in many cases. In an extreme case, the OP could look for a place of work that has a more fitting pace/culture, but this is an entirely non-trivial change. RSI is a medical circumstance that no wishful thinking can change (short of best practice to avoid it). The same goes for aging and passage of time. Can the OP make these entirely non-trivial, life-changing decisions and achieve a significant improvement? Of course, and I'd encourage him to do so, but that's personal beyond what many of us are able to help him with. Can the OP treat the symptoms of a lifestyle/occupation that puts him under extreme stress? Sure, but that's not actually fixing the underlying issue, and patchwork solutions may not hold. Of the underlying causes he mentioned, there's one he can address without having to go all in; keeping up the best he can with his field of work and how it is changing. Everything about web development has changed, and it's entirely understandable that he feels out of his element when his job has become absurdly complex almost overnight. That type of environment can make you feel like a dullard, a slow learner, or even an imposter who is holding a position under a false pretense. The way to beat that feeling is to prove to yourself that it isn't true.