"If they wouldn't have lived a life like this, would they have been them?" And along similar lines, if they hadn't lived a life like that would you have had th

"If they wouldn't have lived a life like this, would they have been them?" And along similar lines, if they hadn't lived a life like that would you have had the benefit of their friendship? Would you even have met them? Doesn't really make it suck any less when you lose them.