7 ms·

Pretty much the same life, the toys are just a bit bigger. One thing I've found though - girls don't care about the money in the bank. Maybe they care about if

by jeb 16y ago

Pretty much the same life, the toys are just a bit bigger. One thing I've found though - girls don't care about the money in the bank. Maybe they care about if you drive a big car or something, but just spending a lot does not seem to result in the ladies being significantly more impressed. Interaction with other people is more of a i-don't-give-a-shit-who-you-are anymore. Take it or leave it is much easier. Life is more relaxed - that constant stress of being broke is gone. But there are other problems that come up when some problems go away. Stuff that appeared smaller before (how do I get people to like me, for example), now seem more important.

jbm 16y ago
This probably says more about me than anyone else, but I felt the same after getting enough money in the bank for one years rent.
- revorad 16y ago
  Haha, that made me laugh out loud. I'm sort of in the same situation, but when things get hard in my startup I sometimes begin to panic.
rdl 16y ago
I personally think "worthwhile" girls are not so much attracted to money as financial stability and responsibility. However, there are times when toys are really nice to have, and can be fun in social settings -- maybe bias toward purchases which can be enjoyed with other people. There are definitely diminishing returns -- being able to afford an occasional meal at a decent restaurant is worth a lot, but being able to buy out the bar every night is not necessarily any better. Three classics from Quora may be relevant: http://www.quora.com/How-does-a-penniless-entrepreneur-attract-gold-diggers http://www.quora.com/How-does-a-penniless-entrepreneur-attra... http://www.quora.com/How-does-a-wealthy-man-in-Silicon-Valley-attract-gold-diggers http://www.quora.com/How-does-a-wealthy-man-in-Silicon-Valle... http://www.quora.com/How-does-a-successful-entrepreneur-get-a-date-in-Silicon-Valley-and-avoid-gold-diggers http://www.quora.com/How-does-a-successful-entrepreneur-get-...
yummyfajitas 16y ago
One thing I've found though - girls don't care about the money in the bank. Wherever you are meeting girls, I want to go there. My experience in an NJ bar a week or two ago: I was talking with a coder friend of mine about my job. This was a geeky conversation with words like "latency", "queues" and "atomic operations", as well as "lost $BIGNUM in half a second", rather than a manly conversation about "parachuting into darfur to deliver aid." A guido girl at the bar visibly perked up and came over to talk and asked if I was a trader within 5 minutes of conversation. (Note: I don't have fuck you money, though my casual reaction to losing $BIGNUM might suggest I do.)
- rdl 16y ago
  This is a great point against living in NYC metro area. I doubt you'd suffer this in Boston (Academia seems to be the dominant life form), SFBA (tech; a trader would be a lot less sexy than the founder of a tech startup even pre-fu money), or Seattle or Portland (environmentalism? art? food?).
  - hugh3 16y ago
    SFBA (tech; a trader would be a lot less sexy than the founder of a tech startup even pre-fu money) Tech startup founders are a dime a dozen around here. In fact, I've found the best way to get a girl interested is to say "Hi, I'm not a software engineer!"
  - warfangle 16y ago
    That's mainly NJ guido-style greed. There are definitely areas of NYC where the predominant culture is, "are you doing something interesting/neat/cool" instead of, "are you working for Goldman Sachs;" be it art, programming, music, technology, food, whatever. The key, of course, is to make what you do sound sexy ;). In some areas, dropping an employer name like Goldman might even get you scorned.
    - brown9-2 16y ago
      I think we should probably all abstain from pretending that "dating" in entire cities or states can be summed up so easily, or that it's even a topic that can be distilled into such a short description of general traits. One bad experience certainly doesn't label them all.
jaxn 16y ago
Following traditional gender roles, the male's job is as a provider. When you start talking about settling down, the reduced ambiguity about future provisions seems to start looking real attractive. YMMV
bsnss-mn-cdr 16y ago
There are two types of people ( not just women but I see it more with women because I pay more attention to them... ) those who want to have nice material things more than anything else and those that don't. The women who genuinely do not care about material things in life will most likely not be 'impressed' by what you have or how you spend your money. On the other side however the women who do care will be significantly more impressed with the more expensive things you have and how you spend your money. I completely agree with the not needing to always watch yourself around others just in case they could potentially 'make your life better'.
- robryan 16y ago
  There is a lot of middle ground here, my girlfriend isn't going to leave me if I don't have a high paying job or company but she sure wouldn't object if I did come into money and gave her expensive gifts.

by jeb 16y ago

jbm 16y ago

This probably says more about me than anyone else, but I felt the same after getting enough money in the bank for one years rent.

revorad 16y ago
Haha, that made me laugh out loud. I'm sort of in the same situation, but when things get hard in my startup I sometimes begin to panic.

rdl 16y ago

I personally think "worthwhile" girls are not so much attracted to money as financial stability and responsibility. However, there are times when toys are really nice to have, and can be fun in social settings -- maybe bias toward purchases which can be enjoyed with other people. There are definitely diminishing returns -- being able to afford an occasional meal at a decent restaurant is worth a lot, but being able to buy out the bar every night is not necessarily any better. Three classics from Quora may be relevant: http://www.quora.com/How-does-a-penniless-entrepreneur-attract-gold-diggers http://www.quora.com/How-does-a-penniless-entrepreneur-attra... http://www.quora.com/How-does-a-wealthy-man-in-Silicon-Valley-attract-gold-diggers http://www.quora.com/How-does-a-wealthy-man-in-Silicon-Valle... http://www.quora.com/How-does-a-successful-entrepreneur-get-a-date-in-Silicon-Valley-and-avoid-gold-diggers http://www.quora.com/How-does-a-successful-entrepreneur-get-...

yummyfajitas 16y ago

One thing I've found though - girls don't care about the money in the bank. Wherever you are meeting girls, I want to go there. My experience in an NJ bar a week or two ago: I was talking with a coder friend of mine about my job. This was a geeky conversation with words like "latency", "queues" and "atomic operations", as well as "lost $BIGNUM in half a second", rather than a manly conversation about "parachuting into darfur to deliver aid." A guido girl at the bar visibly perked up and came over to talk and asked if I was a trader within 5 minutes of conversation. (Note: I don't have fuck you money, though my casual reaction to losing $BIGNUM might suggest I do.)

rdl 16y ago
This is a great point against living in NYC metro area. I doubt you'd suffer this in Boston (Academia seems to be the dominant life form), SFBA (tech; a trader would be a lot less sexy than the founder of a tech startup even pre-fu money), or Seattle or Portland (environmentalism? art? food?).
- hugh3 16y ago
  SFBA (tech; a trader would be a lot less sexy than the founder of a tech startup even pre-fu money) Tech startup founders are a dime a dozen around here. In fact, I've found the best way to get a girl interested is to say "Hi, I'm not a software engineer!"
- warfangle 16y ago
  That's mainly NJ guido-style greed. There are definitely areas of NYC where the predominant culture is, "are you doing something interesting/neat/cool" instead of, "are you working for Goldman Sachs;" be it art, programming, music, technology, food, whatever. The key, of course, is to make what you do sound sexy ;). In some areas, dropping an employer name like Goldman might even get you scorned.
  - brown9-2 16y ago
    I think we should probably all abstain from pretending that "dating" in entire cities or states can be summed up so easily, or that it's even a topic that can be distilled into such a short description of general traits. One bad experience certainly doesn't label them all.

jaxn 16y ago

Following traditional gender roles, the male's job is as a provider. When you start talking about settling down, the reduced ambiguity about future provisions seems to start looking real attractive. YMMV

bsnss-mn-cdr 16y ago

There are two types of people ( not just women but I see it more with women because I pay more attention to them... ) those who want to have nice material things more than anything else and those that don't. The women who genuinely do not care about material things in life will most likely not be 'impressed' by what you have or how you spend your money. On the other side however the women who do care will be significantly more impressed with the more expensive things you have and how you spend your money. I completely agree with the not needing to always watch yourself around others just in case they could potentially 'make your life better'.

robryan 16y ago
There is a lot of middle ground here, my girlfriend isn't going to leave me if I don't have a high paying job or company but she sure wouldn't object if I did come into money and gave her expensive gifts.