It turns out that the little space to the left of the virtual [esc] is a "ghost key" that also registers as Escape (just like the hidden t/g/v/y/h/b keys on the

It turns out that the little space to the left of the virtual [esc] is a "ghost key" that also registers as Escape (just like the hidden t/g/v/y/h/b keys on the split iPad keyboard), so I just put blindly put my finger on the left side of the touch bar and every time it does the right thing.