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Horrible article. Networking doesn't mean asking someone for her email address or exchanging business cards. Networking means creating meaningful relationships

Horrible article. Networking doesn't mean asking someone for her email address or exchanging business cards. Networking means creating meaningful relationships based on mutual benefits. If you are in a position to help someone, help her. She will then help you back later on when she can. And this is by no means overrated. If anything is underrated.

pasbesoin 9y ago
Perhaps. But you should experience some of the "networking" advice that is foisted on the average job-seeker, fresh out of college or otherwise. One reason it is difficult for some people; it reeks of superficiality if not insincerity.
- et-al 9y ago
  Yeah, there are explicit "networking events," which are generally horrible because there's no subtlety to them. Then there's tech meetups or conferences, where you and I might nerd out over common problems we've had to solve, and in the process realise that we might enjoy working with the other person. The thing is, one has to put in the work and put themself out there. Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.
  - pasbesoin 9y ago
    Yes. But college/university career counseling staffs and unemployment bureaus of various sorts and the like leave a lot of people with an early, negative impression of networking. People who may have had a lot of opportunity in their life/careers and who tend to fall into productive and interesting networking scenarios, should at least know that for a lot of the... well, I can really only speak for the U.S.... by dint of experience, "networking" -- at least as a formal and promoted activity -- is a dirty word. And having quickly looked at the OP story, I also recall some very uncomfortable feelings, watching someone aggressively pursue a senior executive's email or phone number. E.g. this fellow or gal comes to a friend's purely social event, and ends up having to handle undesired and poorly couched attempts at professional connections. And the few times I've been talked into attempting to "work the system" in such a fashion? Still make me shudder. P.S. Or the person who's picked up their license as a mortgage broker, and the conversations you attempt to dance around whenever your own looming home purchase comes up. And... Even at the everyday level, a side of "networking" that's kind of a pain to deal with. Anyway... I mostly agree with the article. Have something they're genuinely interested in.
  - gaius 9y ago
    Everyone at a networking event is looking for a leg up, but the people who have something to trade don't attend networking events.
jpm_sd 9y ago
I completely agree. In my career so far I have had six different jobs. Five of them came from personal connections with people who I had directly worked with before, either professionally or as a student. Two of them didn't even require interviews!
mattlondon 9y ago
Sorry to nit-pick but perhaps try - "them" instead of "her" - "they" instead of "she" Much more gender-neutral this way - no implications (intentional or non-intentional) about someone needing help because they are female.
- loco5niner 9y ago
  An honest attempt to be politically sensitive (say 'she' instead of 'he' sometimes) gets put down for not going far enough. Not helping the cause here.
  - mattlondon 9y ago
    The point I was trying to make is when referring to unspecified third-persons, dont say "help her". Say "help them". Women are often unfairly stereotyped as being less-skilled or less-capable than their male counter-parts in our industry. Suggesting those that need help are female is just the thin-end of the wedge on this and may go unnoticed by those using it - a "micro-aggression" as it is now being called - but it furthers the entrenched stereotyping. Using well-accepted gender neutral pronouns is a simple step to avoid this sort of thing and try and promote equality and diversity in our industry. If I have offended anyone, sorry - that was not the intention. The intention was to promote gender equality and make our industry more welcoming to all genders.
    - ghaff 9y ago
      "Well-accepted" is a bit of a stretch. Maybe increasingly-accepted. Personally I favor the use of the singular they. There's precedent with "you" and it seems mostly preferable to alternatives like he/she or just picking arbitrary genders as was done here. But I'm also not going to correct someone who doesn't use singular they (unless it's in a situation where they should be following a particular style guide that specifies it).
    - deleted 9y ago
      [deleted]
    - 9y ago
gaius 9y ago
Its the Mafia way. When they need something done they don't look in the Yellow Pages. They know a guy - a wiseguy - and he or she either owes them a favour already, or wants to have a favour in the bank. This is how I manage my career.

pasbesoin 9y ago

Perhaps. But you should experience some of the "networking" advice that is foisted on the average job-seeker, fresh out of college or otherwise. One reason it is difficult for some people; it reeks of superficiality if not insincerity.

et-al 9y ago
Yeah, there are explicit "networking events," which are generally horrible because there's no subtlety to them. Then there's tech meetups or conferences, where you and I might nerd out over common problems we've had to solve, and in the process realise that we might enjoy working with the other person. The thing is, one has to put in the work and put themself out there. Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.
- pasbesoin 9y ago
  Yes. But college/university career counseling staffs and unemployment bureaus of various sorts and the like leave a lot of people with an early, negative impression of networking. People who may have had a lot of opportunity in their life/careers and who tend to fall into productive and interesting networking scenarios, should at least know that for a lot of the... well, I can really only speak for the U.S.... by dint of experience, "networking" -- at least as a formal and promoted activity -- is a dirty word. And having quickly looked at the OP story, I also recall some very uncomfortable feelings, watching someone aggressively pursue a senior executive's email or phone number. E.g. this fellow or gal comes to a friend's purely social event, and ends up having to handle undesired and poorly couched attempts at professional connections. And the few times I've been talked into attempting to "work the system" in such a fashion? Still make me shudder. P.S. Or the person who's picked up their license as a mortgage broker, and the conversations you attempt to dance around whenever your own looming home purchase comes up. And... Even at the everyday level, a side of "networking" that's kind of a pain to deal with. Anyway... I mostly agree with the article. Have something they're genuinely interested in.
- gaius 9y ago
  Everyone at a networking event is looking for a leg up, but the people who have something to trade don't attend networking events.

jpm_sd 9y ago

I completely agree. In my career so far I have had six different jobs. Five of them came from personal connections with people who I had directly worked with before, either professionally or as a student. Two of them didn't even require interviews!

mattlondon 9y ago

Sorry to nit-pick but perhaps try - "them" instead of "her" - "they" instead of "she" Much more gender-neutral this way - no implications (intentional or non-intentional) about someone needing help because they are female.

loco5niner 9y ago
An honest attempt to be politically sensitive (say 'she' instead of 'he' sometimes) gets put down for not going far enough. Not helping the cause here.
- mattlondon 9y ago
  The point I was trying to make is when referring to unspecified third-persons, dont say "help her". Say "help them". Women are often unfairly stereotyped as being less-skilled or less-capable than their male counter-parts in our industry. Suggesting those that need help are female is just the thin-end of the wedge on this and may go unnoticed by those using it - a "micro-aggression" as it is now being called - but it furthers the entrenched stereotyping. Using well-accepted gender neutral pronouns is a simple step to avoid this sort of thing and try and promote equality and diversity in our industry. If I have offended anyone, sorry - that was not the intention. The intention was to promote gender equality and make our industry more welcoming to all genders.
  - ghaff 9y ago
    "Well-accepted" is a bit of a stretch. Maybe increasingly-accepted. Personally I favor the use of the singular they. There's precedent with "you" and it seems mostly preferable to alternatives like he/she or just picking arbitrary genders as was done here. But I'm also not going to correct someone who doesn't use singular they (unless it's in a situation where they should be following a particular style guide that specifies it).
  - deleted 9y ago
    [deleted]
  - 9y ago

gaius 9y ago

Its the Mafia way. When they need something done they don't look in the Yellow Pages. They know a guy - a wiseguy - and he or she either owes them a favour already, or wants to have a favour in the bank. This is how I manage my career.