5 ms·

whenever i see parents struggling with issues like this, i wonder why everyone wanders into parenthood without any forethought, any preparation. its so frustrat

• joshribakoff 9y ago
  > children are like any other animal Yeah, raising kids is just like owning a gerbil. Exactly.
  • imchillyb 9y ago
    @joshribakoff, you're being disingenuous. You left out the important part of that quote: > they need to be raised deliberately. if you spoil a dog, and dont train it, what kind of dog do you wind up with? what kind of people do you end up with when they are sucked into ipads while still in a stroller, and they are sent to schools that are little more than zoos being overseen by air-headed sorority girls? That is succinct, true, and a shame. A shame, just like your hand-picking out a part of a sentence, in order to make the poster sound like an idiot is. He omitted: in that, from his sentence. They are just like animals, in that.... And if you were to be truthful with yourself, you'd admit he's eerily correct in his observation.
    • joshribakoff 9y ago
      Disciplining a kid like they are a dog just feels like a marginal step up from corporal punishment. Instead I believe in a more empathetic approach. I can teach a kid why its dangerous to walk into the street, no so with a dog, which can only learn via positive & negative associations, without understanding or communicating the reason why. A gold fish can be trained to swim through a hoop by giving a treat. A kid has more complex emotions & thought process. Also discipline is not the only principle you want to teach a kid. What about creativity? Self expression? If a 9 year old wants to write his own mine craft mod, I don't care if he is on his ipad at dinner time. Cultural change is inevitable why fight it. My parents gave me electronics kits, knex, lego mindstorms, I was programming at 12yrs old. I grew up a productive member of society. If your kids on their ipad too much maybe delete angry birds & install a math/learning game instead.
      • jdietrich 9y ago
        >I can teach a kid why its dangerous to walk into the street Children are neurologically incapable of understanding a large proportion of the dangers they face. Toddlers simply can't understand the cause and effect of "run into street -> get run over". Younger children who lack a fully developed theory of mind can't understand the concept of lying. Younger teenagers often attempt suicide as a means of seeking attention, without fully understanding the finality of death. Older teenagers have a very limited ability to reason about more abstract risk behaviours like distracted driving or binge drinking. Unless your child is extraordinarily precocious, some amount of "don't do that or there'll be trouble" will inevitably be necessary. Hell, adults often respond far better to simple conditioning than logical reasoning. Patiently explaining the risks of smoking was far less effective than simply stigmatising the behaviour. Everyone knows that they need to eat less and exercise more, but that knowledge has done practically nothing to stem the obesity epidemic. We can't expect children to understand that homework is a necessary investment in their future when most adults don't save enough for retirement. Children need to be taught self-regulation, but it's unrealistic and unfair to burden them with the full responsibility of disciplining themselves. Rules and boundaries are a kindness, not a cruelty - they give children a safe space in which to learn and develop.
  • JCharante 9y ago
    maybe you're the one not raising gerbils correctly.
• HateInAPuddle 9y ago
  > i wonder why everyone wanders into parenthood without any forethought Because most people are accidents.