I disagree. These are the things that allow us to approach others to talk and you can't know if they are drinking the coffee or ordering vegetarian because they

I disagree. These are the things that allow us to approach others to talk and you can't know if they are drinking the coffee or ordering vegetarian because they are signaling or because that is them. There are billions of people in the world and most folks have access to hundreds if not thousands. One simply cannot talk to everyone. Gotta have some way to do an initial sorting. Sure, it might be petty most times, but it is better than nothing. I'd just advise folks go out of their comfort zone more often and ask folks about things they find different or strange.