I worked with a guy once who was a recovering alcoholic. This was a big dumb corp, and he'd been a manager, but went through the companies cobol boot camp and w

I worked with a guy once who was a recovering alcoholic. This was a big dumb corp, and he'd been a manager, but went through the companies cobol boot camp and was a cobol programmer when I knew him. Apparently it was a situation of he had a lot of tenure at the company and it was that or start over somewhere else. Yeah, odd. Anyway, similar to you, he'd built a life, had two sons, a wife. Only things weren't that rosey for him. This guy had no filter, he'd sometimes offer up fucked up stories from his childhood at weird times. At one point he went back to drinking and was really unreliable at work, his wife kicked him out. Around that time I moved on. About 6 years later I heard he'd committed suicide. This always haunted me. I've worked with a few people who've committed suicide. What I have to say to you is; you matter, to your wife and to your family, and to you co workers, although they don't know it. Good luck and please seek help if you ever need it again.