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The dating market for men has become extremely difficult over the last few years (lots of factors for that), more and more men are unable to find a mate. Men ar

The dating market for men has become extremely difficult over the last few years (lots of factors for that), more and more men are unable to find a mate. Men are less inviting of other men from my observation as they are in deep competition with each other -- why risk having another man around when he might take your girl or reduce your chances? Apps, dating sites, clubs, and events are filled with men looking for women, don't expect them to be cooperative with you, you are their compitition. I believe this is a factor in men becoming less cooperative.

RickS 9y ago
There's a lot to unpack in that comment, and I'm not going to take a swing at much of it, except to say that you should be careful of confusing visibility with reality. Both the haves and the have nots are equipped with increasingly large megaphones (instagram, et al). Most people are regular, and guys have been "taking" other guy's girls since we were beating each other with sticks. The idea that this phenomenon is new or unnatural aims to make it easier to paint as unfair, and for the plaintiff to claim victimhood. Watch out for that. Lots of lonely guys trying to deflect blame away from their own shortcomings. It's not intellectually honest. Anyway, I think the issue is one level up from that: Economic uncertainty in general, rather than strictly social/reproductive uncertainty. The former invites the latter.
- coop-throwaway 9y ago
  Never before could a woman open an app and literally have hundreds of men at her door within minutes (all while men struggle to get a single match). This has created such an imbalance that the women are able to reject roughly the bottom 80% of men leaving most men struggling to get the attention of the bottom 20% of women. And yes, there are lots of men with shortcomings, physical ones, that have rendered them out of the modern dating pool whereas in the past they would have met an equivalent woman. That's no longer the case as that equivalent woman can demand a much higher quality man -- there's an unlimited supply of men to pick from.
  - RickS 9y ago
    I'm going to venture a guess that you spend a lot of time on r/incels. I'm going to further guess that you're using a throwaway because somewhere in your mind, you realize that what you're saying is cranky, entitled, and doesn't hold water. I won't reply after this. Sorry you feel cheated by the world.
    - bitL 9y ago
      I think there was some machine learning-based article from some dating site (PoF? Tinder?) a few years back that more-less supported those claims? I don't use dating apps so have no idea what the "market" is but I am sure dating sites have the ability to extract perfect stats - maybe somebody from there could chip in and tell us? "Applied Sociology" anyone?
    - coop-throwaway 9y ago
      I don't feel cheated. I'm married with kids and had great luck with women. I care about the social aspects of this.
    - dang 9y ago
      Please don't reply to a problematic comment by making the thread still worse. I realize it's hard to resist, but we have to ban accounts that attack other users this way, regardless of how correct your underlying point is. https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html
  - johnny22 9y ago
    Are you concerned about this because of your own issues with dating?
    - coop-throwaway 9y ago
      No. I'm married. With children. I'm very interested in the social aspects of this though.
  - mannigfaltig 9y ago

RickS 9y ago

There's a lot to unpack in that comment, and I'm not going to take a swing at much of it, except to say that you should be careful of confusing visibility with reality. Both the haves and the have nots are equipped with increasingly large megaphones (instagram, et al). Most people are regular, and guys have been "taking" other guy's girls since we were beating each other with sticks. The idea that this phenomenon is new or unnatural aims to make it easier to paint as unfair, and for the plaintiff to claim victimhood. Watch out for that. Lots of lonely guys trying to deflect blame away from their own shortcomings. It's not intellectually honest. Anyway, I think the issue is one level up from that: Economic uncertainty in general, rather than strictly social/reproductive uncertainty. The former invites the latter.

coop-throwaway 9y ago
Never before could a woman open an app and literally have hundreds of men at her door within minutes (all while men struggle to get a single match). This has created such an imbalance that the women are able to reject roughly the bottom 80% of men leaving most men struggling to get the attention of the bottom 20% of women. And yes, there are lots of men with shortcomings, physical ones, that have rendered them out of the modern dating pool whereas in the past they would have met an equivalent woman. That's no longer the case as that equivalent woman can demand a much higher quality man -- there's an unlimited supply of men to pick from.
- RickS 9y ago
  I'm going to venture a guess that you spend a lot of time on r/incels. I'm going to further guess that you're using a throwaway because somewhere in your mind, you realize that what you're saying is cranky, entitled, and doesn't hold water. I won't reply after this. Sorry you feel cheated by the world.
  - bitL 9y ago
    I think there was some machine learning-based article from some dating site (PoF? Tinder?) a few years back that more-less supported those claims? I don't use dating apps so have no idea what the "market" is but I am sure dating sites have the ability to extract perfect stats - maybe somebody from there could chip in and tell us? "Applied Sociology" anyone?
  - coop-throwaway 9y ago
    I don't feel cheated. I'm married with kids and had great luck with women. I care about the social aspects of this.
  - dang 9y ago
    Please don't reply to a problematic comment by making the thread still worse. I realize it's hard to resist, but we have to ban accounts that attack other users this way, regardless of how correct your underlying point is. https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html
- johnny22 9y ago
  Are you concerned about this because of your own issues with dating?
  - coop-throwaway 9y ago
    No. I'm married. With children. I'm very interested in the social aspects of this though.
- mannigfaltig 9y ago