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Serious long term relationships are great, but without some kind of well-understood commitment like marriage there's nothing keeping two people together for lif

by The_Fox 16y ago

Serious long term relationships are great, but without some kind of well-understood commitment like marriage there's nothing keeping two people together for life. When everything is going great in my marriage, I don't need a reminder that I'm obligated to stay with my wife. It's when things suck that my ring, my vows, and my marriage certificate are beneficial. They keep me there because I know that if I break them, I'd be a liar. And I know my wife will stick with me when things are tough because she's made the same commitment. If marriage is silly, are contracts between employers and employees and between founders and investors also silly? If not, why?

barmstrong 16y ago
Some differences between marriage and those contracts you mentioned... * they have performance requirements * they aren't life long commitments If you don't perform well as a CEO the board can fire you. And you don't get to keep half of their personal net worth either. You make a valid point that when things are tough, marriage helps you stay together. But it seems like for the wrong reason (fear of divorce, rather than love of the person). It also seems likely that if the other person know's it's difficult for you to leave, they may not try as hard. This same problem exists when professors get tenure, when you sign a 2 year contract with AT&T, or any long term contract that locks you in.
- The_Fox 16y ago
  You're certainly right about the effects of being in a long-term relationship/contract. That's why things work much better when one has an attitude of, "I'm in this for the long haul- I better make an effort to straighten things out," rather than, "It's hard for my spouse to end this thing so I can slack off and be selfish."
CamperBob 16y ago
If marriage is silly, are contracts between employers and employees and between founders and investors also silly? If your employment contract commits your entire lifetime to the company, then yes, it is silly, and will be deemed unenforceable in any court in the civilized world.
grandalf 16y ago
None of that is because your bond was sanctioned by the state or church... you might as well call yourselves "joined" or "committed" or "unioned". Marriage is the term that only validates relationships deemed OK by the state or church. It is a mechanism of social control and if anything undermines the gravity of two people's commitment to each other.
- deleted 16y ago
  [deleted]

by The_Fox 16y ago

barmstrong 16y ago

Some differences between marriage and those contracts you mentioned... * they have performance requirements * they aren't life long commitments If you don't perform well as a CEO the board can fire you. And you don't get to keep half of their personal net worth either. You make a valid point that when things are tough, marriage helps you stay together. But it seems like for the wrong reason (fear of divorce, rather than love of the person). It also seems likely that if the other person know's it's difficult for you to leave, they may not try as hard. This same problem exists when professors get tenure, when you sign a 2 year contract with AT&T, or any long term contract that locks you in.

The_Fox 16y ago
You're certainly right about the effects of being in a long-term relationship/contract. That's why things work much better when one has an attitude of, "I'm in this for the long haul- I better make an effort to straighten things out," rather than, "It's hard for my spouse to end this thing so I can slack off and be selfish."

CamperBob 16y ago

If marriage is silly, are contracts between employers and employees and between founders and investors also silly? If your employment contract commits your entire lifetime to the company, then yes, it is silly, and will be deemed unenforceable in any court in the civilized world.

grandalf 16y ago

None of that is because your bond was sanctioned by the state or church... you might as well call yourselves "joined" or "committed" or "unioned". Marriage is the term that only validates relationships deemed OK by the state or church. It is a mechanism of social control and if anything undermines the gravity of two people's commitment to each other.

deleted 16y ago
[deleted]