I appreciate the attempt; but I feel like "boys don't cry enough" (sorry, I know this is oversimplified) is the wrong place to look. The reason why I think this

I appreciate the attempt; but I feel like "boys don't cry enough" (sorry, I know this is oversimplified) is the wrong place to look. The reason why I think this is the case, is that loneliness has been increasing while it has become more socially acceptable for boys and men to be open about their emotions. I have never, in my life as a boy and (hopefully) now a man, been told unironically that boys and men shouldn't cry, or that I in particular shouldn't cry. I don't think it would have any effect on my behaviour. From my perspective it really must be something else. Anecdotally I am a very lonely person right now. For the last six months or so, I could be described as about a 32 on the UCLA scale. I am nonetheless a very emotionally open person. I address emotional problems honestly, it just seems that I can not address loneliness the same way. I think the activity that is required to build deep friendships, is to attempt to build many shallow ones, and see who sticks around. That has had the most success for me. I think the final bit of motivation for this is the research on health outcomes (though, granted, it could be a bit biased since unhealthy people are also more likely to be lonely). Also regarding “But to paraphrase University of Missouri researchers Barbara Bank and Suzanne Hansford, men have power, but are not well.”; I don't know what on earth they are talking about. What power do men have? Surely some men are powerful, and there are more powerful men than powerful women, but men as a whole are not powerful in any way I could recognize (in NA). Regarding “A man should never reveal worries to others.”, I think this is more a statement of strategic fact than an opinion. Nobody cares about men, especially not other men; so unless you have good reason to believe you will be helped rather than exploited, showing vulnerability to others is strategically suicidal. As for the “no homo” stuff, it is essential. If you can't tell whether somebody is trying to befriend you or seduce you , you can not be at ease; you can't tell if you're just being a good friend, or leading them on. This connects directly with the later mention of "A lot of men don’t cultivate emotional intimacy when they are not in partnership with a significant other.". When you are in a relationship, making friends becomes more straightforward, since more variables are known to both parties. Maybe I should go get coffee with Steven, we share a city after all.