That sounds horrible. Well done and best wishes on the road to recovery. Have you tried meditation? Try to focus on all of the good things during the day at th

That sounds horrible. Well done and best wishes on the road to recovery. Have you tried meditation? Try to focus on all of the good things during the day at the end of the day, for a sustained period, regularly, for a few weeks. Celebrate small victories and slow progress. (There are other techniques, too.) Also, change of environment can often be a positive trigger: if you can afford it go someplace cheap for a few months with an audible beach and sunlight, different food, etc. Somewhere totally new and alien, preferably with a new language... and strictly reduce screen time to a minimum.