4 ms·

Can you tell us more about what was holding you back and what worked for you?

tomhoward 9y ago
Can you tell us more about what was holding you back I can trace the domino trail back to as young as 3-5, and being very nervous, fearful and anxious. Some early negative social experiences may have been the genesis, and some of it may be inherited (those fearful/anxious tendencies are evident in both my parents and my sister to some degree). From there it's just a pattern of negative experiences compounding, though with the frustration of showing a lot of promise and potential (being somewhat naturally gifted in academic and sporting pursuits, and having some success socially and romantically as I reached adolescence), but always finding I'd sabotage myself, and every time that happened I'd come away feeling worse about myself. As I matured into adulthood the pattern continued: showing promise and having good opportunities in my career, social life and relationships, but always finding a way to mess things up, and becoming more angry, resentful and paralysed as time went by. By about 28 I was just falling apart and finding myself largely unable to function, and was increasingly exhausted and bedridden. Since I started working with subconscious healing techniques 5-6 years ago, I've been able to learn about how I've held onto all of those negative experiences and how they've been increasingly paralysing. This makes sense as an evolutionary self-defense mechanism; the more you find that your efforts to progress in the world cause you to have traumatic experiences that you can't understand, the more your mind/body applies a "braking" mechanism, to protect you from further trauma until you can understand what's going on and learn more healthy and beneficial behaviours. So really that's what the past 5-6 years has been about: using subconscious healing practices to understand how/why I was self-sabotaging, using that understanding to identify more positive/productive behaviours, put those into practice, observe results, rinse/repeat. The first 2-3 years was mostly just slowing the decline and bottoming out, and the subsequent 2-3 years has been a steady and accelerating path of improvement, in which career, friendships and relationships (and energy/enthusiasm) are all in good shape and getting better all the time. I'm reluctant to share too much about exactly what techniques I've used, as it can too easily turn into a pointless arguments with determined skeptics (of which I used to be one), and I just don't need to play that game anymore. In the mainstream medicine realm, CBT seems to be the one that does the most to work on the subconscious mind, though the little of it I've tried didn't appeal to me. Outside of that, things like meditation (if it works for you - it didn't for me), hypnotherapy (Milton Erickson-style), breathwork/breathing therapy, EFT/tapping are all popular. The specific techniques that have been most effective for me, I won't mention here as they really need many hours of discussion or reading to be fully understood and accepted, but you can find plenty of online material, including videos and books, by searching for things like "subconscious healing chronic fatigue". Hope that helps.
- smoyer 9y ago
  "I don't need to play that game any more" - This is so true of many facets of our lives!
- Artifex 9y ago
  I'm dying to know the specific techniques and incredibly frustrated you haven't listed anything specific. The people demand answers!
  - tomhoward 9y ago
    You can search through my comment history (particularly around 20 months ago, but other points in time too) for more specifics, and also to see why I'm reluctant to repeat them now. And you can email me for more up-to-date info and to be involved in any ongoing discussions that may develop.
- sixo 9y ago
  Relevant account: http://kajsotala.fi/2017/07/how-i-found-fixed-the-root-problem-behind-my-depression-and-anxiety-after-20-years http://kajsotala.fi/2017/07/how-i-found-fixed-the-root-probl...
- ScottBurson 9y ago
  Thank you for posting. It takes considerable courage to say even as much as you've said, in this forum. It sounds like you don't have the same form of CFS that I do. I have the sudden-onset type: one week I categorically didn't have it, then I had what seemed like an ordinary flu-like viral illness, not noticeably different from others I had had, but then a couple of weeks later, when I tried to resume my previous level of physical activity (running and biking), I was hit with the brain fog and post-exertional malaise -- even a brisk walk was enough to bring it on. I was under considerable emotional stress at the time, embroiled in a serious dispute with a family member, and between jobs. I'm sure that all that stress had something to do with my contracting the CFS. That's not to say I think it was just stress; rather, the stress weakened me in some way that allowed this thing, whatever it is (EBV?), to get a foothold. As you say, the body is not separate from the mind. My doctor was sympathetic, and put me on an antiviral drug, valacyclovir, for a few years. It helped some, I believe, but wasn't a complete cure. I have also pursued some alternative approaches, primarily breathwork, which I still do occasionally. My symptoms have always been a lot milder than those some experience -- I've never been bedridden -- and they're now even milder. It's to the point that as long as I'm careful not to go too fast on the bicycle I can function as if I didn't have the disease at all, but if I overexert myself I am rudely reminded that it isn't completely gone. Anyway, thanks again for your story. I still find it heartening and inspiring even though it sounds like your illness had a different cause than mine. I wish you continued healing.

Can you tell us more about what was holding you back I can trace the domino trail back to as young as 3-5, and being very nervous, fearful and anxious. Some early negative social experiences may have been the genesis, and some of it may be inherited (those fearful/anxious tendencies are evident in both my parents and my sister to some degree). From there it's just a pattern of negative experiences compounding, though with the frustration of showing a lot of promise and potential (being somewhat naturally gifted in academic and sporting pursuits, and having some success socially and romantically as I reached adolescence), but always finding I'd sabotage myself, and every time that happened I'd come away feeling worse about myself. As I matured into adulthood the pattern continued: showing promise and having good opportunities in my career, social life and relationships, but always finding a way to mess things up, and becoming more angry, resentful and paralysed as time went by. By about 28 I was just falling apart and finding myself largely unable to function, and was increasingly exhausted and bedridden. Since I started working with subconscious healing techniques 5-6 years ago, I've been able to learn about how I've held onto all of those negative experiences and how they've been increasingly paralysing. This makes sense as an evolutionary self-defense mechanism; the more you find that your efforts to progress in the world cause you to have traumatic experiences that you can't understand, the more your mind/body applies a "braking" mechanism, to protect you from further trauma until you can understand what's going on and learn more healthy and beneficial behaviours. So really that's what the past 5-6 years has been about: using subconscious healing practices to understand how/why I was self-sabotaging, using that understanding to identify more positive/productive behaviours, put those into practice, observe results, rinse/repeat. The first 2-3 years was mostly just slowing the decline and bottoming out, and the subsequent 2-3 years has been a steady and accelerating path of improvement, in which career, friendships and relationships (and energy/enthusiasm) are all in good shape and getting better all the time. I'm reluctant to share too much about exactly what techniques I've used, as it can too easily turn into a pointless arguments with determined skeptics (of which I used to be one), and I just don't need to play that game anymore. In the mainstream medicine realm, CBT seems to be the one that does the most to work on the subconscious mind, though the little of it I've tried didn't appeal to me. Outside of that, things like meditation (if it works for you - it didn't for me), hypnotherapy (Milton Erickson-style), breathwork/breathing therapy, EFT/tapping are all popular. The specific techniques that have been most effective for me, I won't mention here as they really need many hours of discussion or reading to be fully understood and accepted, but you can find plenty of online material, including videos and books, by searching for things like "subconscious healing chronic fatigue". Hope that helps.

smoyer 9y ago
"I don't need to play that game any more" - This is so true of many facets of our lives!
Artifex 9y ago
I'm dying to know the specific techniques and incredibly frustrated you haven't listed anything specific. The people demand answers!
- tomhoward 9y ago
  You can search through my comment history (particularly around 20 months ago, but other points in time too) for more specifics, and also to see why I'm reluctant to repeat them now. And you can email me for more up-to-date info and to be involved in any ongoing discussions that may develop.
sixo 9y ago
Relevant account: http://kajsotala.fi/2017/07/how-i-found-fixed-the-root-problem-behind-my-depression-and-anxiety-after-20-years http://kajsotala.fi/2017/07/how-i-found-fixed-the-root-probl...
ScottBurson 9y ago
Thank you for posting. It takes considerable courage to say even as much as you've said, in this forum. It sounds like you don't have the same form of CFS that I do. I have the sudden-onset type: one week I categorically didn't have it, then I had what seemed like an ordinary flu-like viral illness, not noticeably different from others I had had, but then a couple of weeks later, when I tried to resume my previous level of physical activity (running and biking), I was hit with the brain fog and post-exertional malaise -- even a brisk walk was enough to bring it on. I was under considerable emotional stress at the time, embroiled in a serious dispute with a family member, and between jobs. I'm sure that all that stress had something to do with my contracting the CFS. That's not to say I think it was just stress; rather, the stress weakened me in some way that allowed this thing, whatever it is (EBV?), to get a foothold. As you say, the body is not separate from the mind. My doctor was sympathetic, and put me on an antiviral drug, valacyclovir, for a few years. It helped some, I believe, but wasn't a complete cure. I have also pursued some alternative approaches, primarily breathwork, which I still do occasionally. My symptoms have always been a lot milder than those some experience -- I've never been bedridden -- and they're now even milder. It's to the point that as long as I'm careful not to go too fast on the bicycle I can function as if I didn't have the disease at all, but if I overexert myself I am rudely reminded that it isn't completely gone. Anyway, thanks again for your story. I still find it heartening and inspiring even though it sounds like your illness had a different cause than mine. I wish you continued healing.