I think you'll have an easier time meeting women (and people in general) if you become a little more culturally active & outgoing. Your lifestyle is dominated b

I think you'll have an easier time meeting women (and people in general) if you become a little more culturally active & outgoing. Your lifestyle is dominated by career/technical interests, which from your self description (and I say this with kindness) seems to make you a monotone personality. I sense that even you yourself are bored and frustrated with this monotony. If that is at all true, you must consider, what excitement and joy would you be bringing to a potential relationship? You've probably adopted your technical and career focus because of your dream to live up to your potential and be successful. And that's admirable, of course. But there is a lot more to having a fulfilling life than just the virtue of productive work. There is the more human and cultural side of life, of which your desire to date is a part of. It's time to expand your dream to include more of this other aspect of life. It's a big world, but you haven't yet allowed yourself to explore much of it, neither intellectually or physically. Forgive me if I overreach, but have you made a negative value judgement on your own curiosity about the world, in the name of becoming a more productive and better programmer? A worldly curiosity is what will give you breadth and diversity of experience, which in turn will make you a more interesting person, and ultimately make you a more creative problem solver and team member. It will also make you more socially comfortable and skilled. Pay attention to the impulse that led you to your previous pursuit of classical voice that you mentioned. That's an unusual and intriguing hobby, an art that connects you with a tradition spanning thousands of years. And of course, there are lots of cool, nerdy music girls who do it too (especially if you're near a college with a good arts program). You mentioned it was there that you had some success with women. I submit it wasn't just because some of the other guys were gay, it was because you were doing something unusual and interesting that made you seem more attractive as a person. You've (admirably) rejected the idea of the seedy seduction manuals. Those aren't what dating is about, anyway. In a healthy point of view dating and relationships aren't about games, tricks, and seduction, and you're mistaken if you think that is what people in relationships are actually doing. Dating is about discovering the interesting qualities of another person and exploring the world and reaches of human experience. It's also about being discovered as a person, by the other person. But you've got to have something interesting to discover. And for that you've got to be curious about the world first. So rather than just giving up on dating, gritting your teeth and forcing your nose closer to the grindstone with the goal of becoming "more powerful and wealthy" as a solution, I think you need to expand your curiosity, and the range and variety of your pursuits. PS- This isn't a throwaway account; it's my first post. And to be on topic: It's from someone who has had several very enjoyable long term relationships thanks to online dating sites.