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Additionally this stems really back to bullying; something that wasn't dealt with in my time in school. I was always told to just let it go and someone else wi

by damm 9y ago

Additionally this stems really back to bullying; something that wasn't dealt with in my time in school. I was always told to just let it go and someone else will straighten them out. The truth is; no the teachers enabled the bullies to bully me. When these bullies grew up they knew they could take advantage of people to get ahead. If we can't talk about bullying and deal with it in a real way (saying kids are kids; isn't an answer. Kids can be cruel as hell and if you let them be cruel why would they act differently?) we sure as hell can't deal with the misogyny in this world. In the end it stems from the same place; we raise some children to be ones to be stepped on; and others to do the stepping on.

pasbesoin 9y ago
What I tell people: Absent an effective countervailing strategy, bullying works. At its simplest level, if "the bully is only hurting themself" and similar ineffective (I'd argue, actively counter-productive) messaging were actually true, then why is bullying such a pervasive, ingrained, and persistent characteristic of our social interactions and societies? It works! Unless you actually stop it. Until we teach our kids this and train them in how to deal with the situation effectively, and unless as older kids and adults we actively engage ourselves in the social milieus where this is taking place, the strategy is going to have unhindered success and continue. Bullying is never going to go away or be eradicated. (Look at its presence in many other species aside from our own.) But we can be honest about it and about this, teach our kids and where necessary contemporaries how to deal with it, lend support in dealing with it, and keep base-level aggression from warping lives and quelling the valuable contributions others have to offer. Is society a "zero sum game"? Or does fostering a more positive environment grow the pie for all of us? This is actually a topic that economics appears to be beginning to grapple with (e.g. the newish "Evonomics"). Are unfettered capitalism and unbridled inequality the route to the greatest growth, or does a greater, flatter sharing of resources produce the better overall outcome? Economists are starting to see and acknowledge evidence of the latter. P.S. On a personal note, I experienced some pretty bad and persistent bullying, particularly in middle school. At least one of the most senior teachers observed it directly and did nothing about it. In fact, no one ever taught me anything about how to deal with it. I still carry those scars. Bullying works. Unless you act to prevent this.

by damm 9y ago

pasbesoin 9y ago

What I tell people: Absent an effective countervailing strategy, bullying works. At its simplest level, if "the bully is only hurting themself" and similar ineffective (I'd argue, actively counter-productive) messaging were actually true, then why is bullying such a pervasive, ingrained, and persistent characteristic of our social interactions and societies? It works! Unless you actually stop it. Until we teach our kids this and train them in how to deal with the situation effectively, and unless as older kids and adults we actively engage ourselves in the social milieus where this is taking place, the strategy is going to have unhindered success and continue. Bullying is never going to go away or be eradicated. (Look at its presence in many other species aside from our own.) But we can be honest about it and about this, teach our kids and where necessary contemporaries how to deal with it, lend support in dealing with it, and keep base-level aggression from warping lives and quelling the valuable contributions others have to offer. Is society a "zero sum game"? Or does fostering a more positive environment grow the pie for all of us? This is actually a topic that economics appears to be beginning to grapple with (e.g. the newish "Evonomics"). Are unfettered capitalism and unbridled inequality the route to the greatest growth, or does a greater, flatter sharing of resources produce the better overall outcome? Economists are starting to see and acknowledge evidence of the latter. P.S. On a personal note, I experienced some pretty bad and persistent bullying, particularly in middle school. At least one of the most senior teachers observed it directly and did nothing about it. In fact, no one ever taught me anything about how to deal with it. I still carry those scars. Bullying works. Unless you act to prevent this.