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> If you have attitude that you're not going to make any changes to yourself in order to land women, than you're not going to land women. I know! Such would be

> If you have attitude that you're not going to make any changes to yourself in order to land women, than you're not going to land women. I know! Such would be the definition of insanity and all that. That's why my future plans involve making the best of the strengths and weaknesses I have and who I am, who is someone who refuses to strive to be anybody but the person of my dreams. Women don't like me and I'll live. > Women don't want direct and straightforward. They want charm, mystery, excitement. I know that too. I've read the SS literature and heard Ross Jeffries tapes. The shit works. I don't like people who use it and it's not for me. Bullshit I can detect disgusts me, in both genders. I know the arguments quite well and I know human nature quite well. When you're learning a foreign language, you don't say "Speaking French isn't me" you make the sounds that seem weird at first. However, feeling like I need to spend my whole life making all my conversations with women crafted according to some stupid shit I don't actually feel isn't worth it for me. Yes I'm bitter, and I don't even rant all the time, just in this thread:) > you need to develop both the personal rapport and shared interests, but also the romantic game/charm that makes her tingle for you. Yes I know. But I say no to this, and the anger at the fact that the person of my dreams isn't good enough for a woman will drive me to more success, on my own terms.

bokonist 16y ago
Do you enjoy any sort of recreation, horsing around, pulling pranks, play acting, telling stories, fantasizing, scheming, etc? Or is your life 100% droll and serious? Do you have other interests besides programming - travel, books, movies, anything? You don't have to be a Jersey Shore-like, brainless, bullsh*tter to get girls. I think there is a difference between doing the Ross Jeffries act and spicing up topics you genuinely like with a little bit of excitement.
- WilliamLP 16y ago
  > Do you enjoy any sort of recreation, horsing around, pulling pranks, play acting, telling stories, fantasizing, scheming, etc? Yes all of that, in a way that isn't appealing to women. The kind of humour I enjoy includes dry self deprecation and obscure and nerdy tech jokes, and I literally am part of the reason why women don't get into computer science jobs. You can actually see the repulsive magnetic fields lines as they form patterns at a distance from me at parties, not quite knowing why they need to move but doing so anyhow. And you know what? I have the personality of leader, and I'm going to develop myself into more of one, and women can just go to guys like you when they want to tingle and shit. > Do you have other interests besides programming - travel, books, movies, anything? No, a little (and I recognize where your usernane is from), yes if I'm sitting with a girl, and some other things that vary over time, including most that are stereotypically male interests. (E.g. I love watching UFC with friends at a bar.) But anyway, I apologize if it appears like I'm playing a version of Eric Berne's game "Why don't you...? yes but...", or ressentiment or glorifying my own powerlessness or whatever. I'm really not after help, though I recognize you and others would sincerely like to provide it. I'm just pointing out that online dating really isn't the best path for everyone, especially for someone like me. I really am likable to some, but I just take a long time to get to know, and it has to be in person over time, and it can't be the sort of whiny entitled women online who are smart enough to understand the economics of scarcity:) My own best strategy will be a two-pronged attack - make a ton more money and get a lot more power (in my view, this is more honest than clowning my way through some speed seduction value elicitation NLP bullshit that revolts me). And along with it get off the internet more and do some things where there is continual interaction with women. Sometimes, I know from experience, even though such things aren't that enjoyable at first, they can take on a life of their own... E.g. the idea that supposedly Sartre got into philosophy to pick up girls.
  - bokonist 16y ago
    The kind of humour I enjoy includes dry self deprecation Yeah, self-deprecating humor is definitely romantic death, I've kicked the habit over the years. The reason I asked about interests is that 95% of my time is spent with interests that women find uninteresting - programming, reading history, reading economics, sports. Thus when I talk with women, I make sure to only talk about the 5% (design, architecture, society, relationships, psychology, travel) that women find interesting. In this way I am both authentic to myself ( I am genuinely interested in these topics), but also can make decent conversation. I'm really not after help, though I recognize you and others would sincerely like to provide it. I used to have a similar attitude to you, and similar droughts. So I feel oddly compelled to give the unsolicited advice that I wish someone had given me. I have the personality of leader, and I'm going to develop myself into more of one, and women can just go to guys like you when they want to tingle and shit. The arts of leadership are in many ways the arts of seduction. make a ton more money and get a lot more power All the best to you, but in the modern world this is one of the least efficient ways to try and find female companionship.
    - lsc 16y ago
      > interests that women find uninteresting - programming, reading history, reading economics, sports. Thus when I talk with women, I make sure to only talk about the 5% (design, architecture, society, relationships, psychology, travel) Wow... are you sure that all women are so homogeneous?
      - impeachgod 16y ago
        Women ARE fairly homogenous. Date transsexuals, they're better.
  - Helianthus16 16y ago
    >I have the personality of leader, You are entirely wrong, if you accept the rest of your post at face value. Women like leadership. Leadership in its most primal form is not about intelligence, decisiveness, alpha male-ness, or what-have-you. Leadership is about people believing you have any of those powers (or some several I forgot). And that's where you're going entirely wrong! You think that such a belief is worthless. You think that people give up something when they follow a leader. A leader is just one who takes the desires and wishes of the people who follow them into his/her own heart. You think that women are really such base operators and are upset at them for that. And that makes it impossible for you to see them as human. If you think that making money and power will get you women, you're entirely right. You'll hit the point at which such things are so attractive that your other "defects" won't matter. Money can buy anything with a pricetag, and power can buy anything that can be intimidated. But you won't be happy until you realize that you're on an equal level with those women whom you despise. And that's the core of why I'm angry with you. You think you're better than women because they fall for speed seduction value elicitation bullshit, but at the same time you think you're hot shit ("personality of leader") and buy into same shit in your seeking of power. Do you think women will interest you once you can buy them? The better framework is that yes, there are women who will fall for power and money; yes, there are women who will be seduced by "demonstration of value"; but there are a lot of women. Even speed seduction respects women's choice by taking tactics that try to influence it. I apologize, I'm being harsh in calling you out so thoroughly. I'm a little drunk. But fuck it, this story is about online dating in an absurdly negative light, and I've had more than a few friends succeed in online dating because they were serious about finding and evaluating someone. Good luck in whatever sort of woman you choose to pursue.

bokonist 16y ago

Do you enjoy any sort of recreation, horsing around, pulling pranks, play acting, telling stories, fantasizing, scheming, etc? Or is your life 100% droll and serious? Do you have other interests besides programming - travel, books, movies, anything? You don't have to be a Jersey Shore-like, brainless, bullsh*tter to get girls. I think there is a difference between doing the Ross Jeffries act and spicing up topics you genuinely like with a little bit of excitement.

WilliamLP 16y ago
> Do you enjoy any sort of recreation, horsing around, pulling pranks, play acting, telling stories, fantasizing, scheming, etc? Yes all of that, in a way that isn't appealing to women. The kind of humour I enjoy includes dry self deprecation and obscure and nerdy tech jokes, and I literally am part of the reason why women don't get into computer science jobs. You can actually see the repulsive magnetic fields lines as they form patterns at a distance from me at parties, not quite knowing why they need to move but doing so anyhow. And you know what? I have the personality of leader, and I'm going to develop myself into more of one, and women can just go to guys like you when they want to tingle and shit. > Do you have other interests besides programming - travel, books, movies, anything? No, a little (and I recognize where your usernane is from), yes if I'm sitting with a girl, and some other things that vary over time, including most that are stereotypically male interests. (E.g. I love watching UFC with friends at a bar.) But anyway, I apologize if it appears like I'm playing a version of Eric Berne's game "Why don't you...? yes but...", or ressentiment or glorifying my own powerlessness or whatever. I'm really not after help, though I recognize you and others would sincerely like to provide it. I'm just pointing out that online dating really isn't the best path for everyone, especially for someone like me. I really am likable to some, but I just take a long time to get to know, and it has to be in person over time, and it can't be the sort of whiny entitled women online who are smart enough to understand the economics of scarcity:) My own best strategy will be a two-pronged attack - make a ton more money and get a lot more power (in my view, this is more honest than clowning my way through some speed seduction value elicitation NLP bullshit that revolts me). And along with it get off the internet more and do some things where there is continual interaction with women. Sometimes, I know from experience, even though such things aren't that enjoyable at first, they can take on a life of their own... E.g. the idea that supposedly Sartre got into philosophy to pick up girls.
- bokonist 16y ago
  The kind of humour I enjoy includes dry self deprecation Yeah, self-deprecating humor is definitely romantic death, I've kicked the habit over the years. The reason I asked about interests is that 95% of my time is spent with interests that women find uninteresting - programming, reading history, reading economics, sports. Thus when I talk with women, I make sure to only talk about the 5% (design, architecture, society, relationships, psychology, travel) that women find interesting. In this way I am both authentic to myself ( I am genuinely interested in these topics), but also can make decent conversation. I'm really not after help, though I recognize you and others would sincerely like to provide it. I used to have a similar attitude to you, and similar droughts. So I feel oddly compelled to give the unsolicited advice that I wish someone had given me. I have the personality of leader, and I'm going to develop myself into more of one, and women can just go to guys like you when they want to tingle and shit. The arts of leadership are in many ways the arts of seduction. make a ton more money and get a lot more power All the best to you, but in the modern world this is one of the least efficient ways to try and find female companionship.
  - lsc 16y ago
    > interests that women find uninteresting - programming, reading history, reading economics, sports. Thus when I talk with women, I make sure to only talk about the 5% (design, architecture, society, relationships, psychology, travel) Wow... are you sure that all women are so homogeneous?
    - impeachgod 16y ago
      Women ARE fairly homogenous. Date transsexuals, they're better.
- Helianthus16 16y ago
  >I have the personality of leader, You are entirely wrong, if you accept the rest of your post at face value. Women like leadership. Leadership in its most primal form is not about intelligence, decisiveness, alpha male-ness, or what-have-you. Leadership is about people believing you have any of those powers (or some several I forgot). And that's where you're going entirely wrong! You think that such a belief is worthless. You think that people give up something when they follow a leader. A leader is just one who takes the desires and wishes of the people who follow them into his/her own heart. You think that women are really such base operators and are upset at them for that. And that makes it impossible for you to see them as human. If you think that making money and power will get you women, you're entirely right. You'll hit the point at which such things are so attractive that your other "defects" won't matter. Money can buy anything with a pricetag, and power can buy anything that can be intimidated. But you won't be happy until you realize that you're on an equal level with those women whom you despise. And that's the core of why I'm angry with you. You think you're better than women because they fall for speed seduction value elicitation bullshit, but at the same time you think you're hot shit ("personality of leader") and buy into same shit in your seeking of power. Do you think women will interest you once you can buy them? The better framework is that yes, there are women who will fall for power and money; yes, there are women who will be seduced by "demonstration of value"; but there are a lot of women. Even speed seduction respects women's choice by taking tactics that try to influence it. I apologize, I'm being harsh in calling you out so thoroughly. I'm a little drunk. But fuck it, this story is about online dating in an absurdly negative light, and I've had more than a few friends succeed in online dating because they were serious about finding and evaluating someone. Good luck in whatever sort of woman you choose to pursue.