I think this cuts to the heart of a changing landscape regarding what people consider a "good person". Your father believes he's a good person because he made

I think this cuts to the heart of a changing landscape regarding what people consider a "good person". Your father believes he's a good person because he made a sacrifice for what he believed in. He sacrificed his relationship with someone he loved, and likely felt a lot of pushback which greatly hurt him in many ways. Following the battle of Gettysburg Lincoln consummated the ground to all the soldiers that lost their lives fighting for what they believed in: those fighting for slaves and those fighting for slavery. Both sides were important in shaping the fabric of the US (in his view). Today good and evil fall along party lines. There are no more martyrs, chastising others counts as being good and even small sacrifices for good are considered exceptional acts. Today change is expected to flow freely while speech is expected to be canned and regulated, a reversal of Lincoln's time.