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I've been in Cleveland 2 years and I have only went on dates with 2 people. At my most recent workplace there was only ever one woman around my age. We went to

I've been in Cleveland 2 years and I have only went on dates with 2 people. At my most recent workplace there was only ever one woman around my age. We went to lunch together and talked a ton so I think she liked me but I didn't want to date a coworker at the time. Other than her though, dating through work is apparently not an option. But as for dating apps/sites and stuff I never get any matches. So based on all that I don't understand how it's so commonplace for people to go on 10-20 dates. My whole life I've always just dated the first person that liked me, usually with years between girlfriends. Luckily they have all turned out to be great people but that's not something I can count on. >I'm talking you literally make babies cry with your appearance, or you have a history of torturing animals, or something like that. I'm apparently attractive enough that even straight men will tell me so unsolicited. As for mental health, the only thing there is ADD, most people who talk to me seem to think I'm really interesting and easygoing. I have a hard time reconciling all my feedback with the notion that I'm part of some exceedingly rare group that is undatable. I don't know why I made this comment. There's not really anything for you to say in return. I'm just confused and it's got me down.

projektir 9y ago
I don't really think this situation is all that unusual, but it's something people don't bring up because it causes the reactions like the parent.
erikpukinskis 9y ago
I don't recommend dating coworkers, I recommend befriending coworkers and cautiously dating their friends. Dating apps work OK if you're average to above average in attractiveness, writing skills, and flirting, and you can keep your anxiety in check. If you're below average in some of those areas, you need to be in non-romantic group settings so that people can observe you move confidently in space and become attracted to you. That means hobbies. > I don't understand how it's so commonplace for people to go on 10-20 dates Yeah, I guess I was thinking about online dating. The in person stuff is slightly different. If you volunteer for environmental restoration every weekend, you will go on 10-20 "dates" over the course of 50 weekends, while pulling up invasive species next to someone who is a little bored. That will be your first date. If you like each other, you just have to say yes to more opportunities to be with them, and they'll be doing the same, and you'll eventually get to a "real" date. Do your best to look cute before you show up to these events, and get your mental health in order beforehand. Events with physical activity help with both of those things. > I have a hard time reconciling all my feedback with the notion that I'm part of some exceedingly rare group that is undatable. Yeah, no, doesn't sound like you're in that category. From what you're saying it sounds like you're just missing the 10-20 first dates thing.

projektir 9y ago

I don't really think this situation is all that unusual, but it's something people don't bring up because it causes the reactions like the parent.

erikpukinskis 9y ago

I don't recommend dating coworkers, I recommend befriending coworkers and cautiously dating their friends. Dating apps work OK if you're average to above average in attractiveness, writing skills, and flirting, and you can keep your anxiety in check. If you're below average in some of those areas, you need to be in non-romantic group settings so that people can observe you move confidently in space and become attracted to you. That means hobbies. > I don't understand how it's so commonplace for people to go on 10-20 dates Yeah, I guess I was thinking about online dating. The in person stuff is slightly different. If you volunteer for environmental restoration every weekend, you will go on 10-20 "dates" over the course of 50 weekends, while pulling up invasive species next to someone who is a little bored. That will be your first date. If you like each other, you just have to say yes to more opportunities to be with them, and they'll be doing the same, and you'll eventually get to a "real" date. Do your best to look cute before you show up to these events, and get your mental health in order beforehand. Events with physical activity help with both of those things. > I have a hard time reconciling all my feedback with the notion that I'm part of some exceedingly rare group that is undatable. Yeah, no, doesn't sound like you're in that category. From what you're saying it sounds like you're just missing the 10-20 first dates thing.