8 ms·

How to Stop Apologizing for My Stutter, and Other Important Lessons

102 points by samclemens 9y ago

Overtonwindow 9y ago
From an engineering perspective, I wish more technologists researched the intersection of speech and technology. For many who stutter there's a device called the SpeechEasy which is marketed as something to improve fluency, and reduce stuttering. Unfortunately for most it doesn't work, for those that it does work the effect wears off, it costs well over $3,000 for the intro pocket model, and typically not covered by insurance. What does it do? It creates an echo of your voice in your ear. Literally just an echo; the coral effect if you've ever seen The King's Speech. This device could be built off the shelf at a MicroCenter for a couple of hundred dollars. There are all kinds of technology for the disabled that is grossly overpriced, and I really wish technologists investigated them more, and found ways to disrupt these expensive devices.
- deleted 9y ago
  [deleted]
- sattoshi 9y ago
  Loopback microphone input on your smartphone, plug in earphones and you're good to go! How is that for disruption?
  - mlvljr 9y ago
    An old wired phone does it for ya, in fact :)
  - Overtonwindow 9y ago
    It doesn't exist. Why, I'm not sure. Would you create that app? Maybe make it so that you can use a Bluetooth earpiece or earbuds with an inline mic? That would be really awesome. If you created it and it worked just like the SpeechEasy you could sell it for a few dollars and make good money. It could be a way for potential users to test the effect in the real world before spending $3k+ on the device. I look forward to your progress!
    - vigliag 9y ago
      There are some already. Look for DAF or "delayed auditory feedback" on the play store. It is also trivial to build one with web audio.
      - Overtonwindow 9y ago
        Nope. They absolutely cannot be delayed auditory feedback. That disrupts speech. The device must reproduce the chorus effect. [0] [0] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xw_rVGUXgos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xw_rVGUXgos
        vigliag 9y ago
        Some of those DAF apps can also apply pitch shifting (which is actually AAF). Provided they work properly, they should be able to provide that choral effect. I am no expert by the way, I've only toyed with those for a few minutes.
    - sattoshi 9y ago
      https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.ad960009.app.MicToSpeaker https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.ad960009.a... I use this
nodesocket 9y ago
I also have a stutter, and I've blogged about being a single founder with it (https://justink.svbtle.com/being-a-founder-with-a-speech-impediment https://justink.svbtle.com/being-a-founder-with-a-speech-imp...). I've had a speech impediment since I was a kid. I was told I would grow out of it. Still waiting for that to happen. :-) I've noticed my stuttering has seasons/cycles of worse times, which seem to be tied to stress or anxiety over important calls or meetings. My stuttering has certainly been frustrating and frankly limiting as a founder, since my latest company (https://elasticbyte.net https://elasticbyte.net) requires more person-to-person interactions (talking to clients and closing deals). The singing technique (mysteriously don't stutter when singing), while it is effective, does not work in a business setting. Darn!
- reitanqild 9y ago
  My brother had great trouble pronouncing a certain letter until he moved across tje language and adopted the local dialect. Suddenly he just started pronouncing it correctly. Later he was able to use it while speaking normally. (Mentioning it since it might work better in a business setting. And yes, I think he used to stutter as well but this was many years ago.)
- o_____________o 9y ago
  Have you ever looked into the valsalva hypothesis around stuttering?
- southphillyman 9y ago
  Did you stutter during interviews? If so has it had any impact on whether or not you could obtain employment? The singing thing is interesting, off the top of my head I can think of a few rappers who stutter but can clearly speak their lyrics in their songs. Maybe it's less about the dynamics of singing and more about focus shifting to a low anxiety activity?
  - TinyBig 9y ago
    Stutterer here. Answer to both questions in my case: Yes and yes. I had potential employers just hang up the phone rather than wait for me to complete a sentence. I was completely unable to find a job (any job) when I fished undergrad with a 3.7 GPA in mechanical engineering. It was pretty scary at the time; I was convinced I was going to starve.
forthelove 9y ago
Stutterer here. Was in speech therapy for a long time as a child; my sister actually became a speech therapist b/c of that experience. It will always be a challenge (I'm 37 now), and it seems to rear its ugly head at random times not necessarily tied to stress. Two nights ago I made my first ever best man speech in front of about 150+ people and I maybe stammered once during the 5 or so minutes. Felt amazing and I had people asking me if I was a standup comic or spoke professionally. They have no clue the daily mental gymnastics I perform to master the stuttering.
- forthelove 9y ago
  I should note that I've had to give many, many, many presentations in many different business environments (in front of my companies, pitching investors, new biz pitches, etc.) and I learned a long time ago that confidence is crucial. Almost every time I practiced the best man speech I stuttered quite often, and almost on the same words every time. But come game time, it almost always goes smoothly. Always found that a bit odd. Maybe I just get into sort of flow states and just roll with it.
  - nodesocket 9y ago
    Can you share some techniques? I've found the opposite.. Come game time on the phone especially, it is difficult. I stutter frequently and block for long extended periods.
    - forthelove 9y ago
      For one, breathe. Before, during, after. Breathe. Settle yourself (I meditate daily as well). Personally, I think I get caught up when I try to read word for word scripts, so I always give myself a general blueprint of what I want to say but allow myself room for improv. I also tend to do my practice speeches way faster than the real ones, which I also think is the opposite of what most people experience. I pause a lot (and, again, breathe) during speeches, let things sink in for both the audience and myself. That's about it. Oh, I try to get everyone laughing early on. It settles the nerves in almost any situation.
southphillyman 9y ago
"They are rooted in childhood—which is the only time stuttering can be reversed. Once you’re an adult, there are only ways of hiding" Don't think this is true. Bill Walton and Bill Withers both were in their 30s before they stopped stuttering I believe.
- wrinkl3 9y ago
  The problem with stuttering is that the condition is so broad and the cases are so diverse that any generalization of that kind is bound to be incorrect. So of course there'll be cases of stutters who managed to achieve complete fluency in adulthood, as well as people who only began to stutter as adults.
- SilkRoadie 9y ago
  I don't agree with this either. I am in my thirties now and still stutter but I have made huge progress in the past 5 years. In the past stuttering was a huge part my life. Now, while I stutter from time to time my self confidence means it doesn't matter. In the past I refused to use the phone. I couldn't. I would be vocally paralysed. Today I spent an hour talking on the phone to a mortgage broker. The only situation I struggle with is conference calling at work. I haven't thought much on it as I rarely do it. I guess I worry I will get stuck and someone will talk over me.. which I guess is silly. If I did it more I am sure I would master it too.
mcone 9y ago
I'm also a stutterer. I wish I could share with you the overwhelming shame, humiliation, and ostracism I experienced as a child in my classroom environments. As a result I feel tremendous compassion for others with physical and mental limitations. Speech therapy really helped me help myself, but I still sometimes stutter.
- rdtsc 9y ago
  I am a stutterer as well. Yeah I remember the constant humiliation and being made fun of, the bullying. It often included teachers, extended family members, and adults. My parents tried speech therapy, unfortunately, it was the Soviet version, and in their typical irony, they had put the only children's speech pathologist's office in my city, in a mental hospital. So to get to the appointment I had to witness some scary behavior from some of patients. Needless to say we had stopped going there after a while. I always wondered who came up with that setup, someone had a very dark sense of humor.
40acres 9y ago
I had a stutter growing up, it was terrible. Whenever I got noticed I just froze up, I particularly remember one English teacher who knew I was bad at public speaking yet repeatedly calling on me during class to read sections (more than other kids). I was terrified of going to high school with a stutter, I knew how cruel kids could be, but out of nowhere my stutter disappeared. I never really looked at to what phenomenon caused my stutter to go away but it was a huge weight off my back.
- rhapsodic 9y ago
  > I had a stutter growing up, it was terrible. Whenever I got noticed I just froze up, I particularly remember one English teacher who knew I was bad at public speaking yet repeatedly calling on me during class to read sections (more than other kids). It sounds like the English teacher had a sadistic streak.
  - 40acres 9y ago
    She was definitely a mean one.I always felt she was picking on me.
    - smogcutter 9y ago
      Could also see it as a misguided attempt to help, like teaching someone to swim by throwing them in the pool. Obviously I don't know your teacher, if you say she was a mean one she was a mean one, but that's the charitable interpretation. I'm interested in what you (and other current/former stutterers) think the right strategy in the classroom would be. On the one hand you don't want to push a student into daily humiliations, it's cruel. On the other hand, life will continue to require public speaking, and allowing a student to hide from that is maybe doing them a disservice in the long run. What approaches from teachers did/didn't work for you?
hgl 9y ago
I'm a stutter too. My condition is a bit special I think. When I'm alone, I don't stutter at all if I think out loud or just read something on the screen, every scary word turns into a piece of cake. But as soon as I realize someone can hear me (even if it's remote like video chat), I start to stutter, pretty badly. I wonder if other people are in the same camp. I didn't stutter when I was kid until I played with a neighbor kid who did, and it frightened me that I might stutter like him whenever I need to talk. As time progresses, the frightening reinforced, and I never grew out of it. I wonder if it qualifies as classical conditioning? I also speak other languages, and the severity is different in different languages.
- shanev 9y ago
  Your condition isn't special. Everyone who stutters doesn't when they are alone. Neurologically, it's a defect in processing external feedback to what we are saying. If no one is listening, there is no feedback.
- rdtsc 9y ago
  > When I'm alone, I don't stutter at all if From a sample of N=2, I can say that's pretty typical ;-) But to be serious, I don't think that's uncommon. > I didn't stutter when I was kid until I played with a neighbor kid who did, Ah interesting. That reminded me that my cousin also stutters and well when we played together, we both got worse after a while. My parents noticed that. I also noticed after I watched or listen some stutter, I'd stutter more. I wonder if that that's why I never really wanted that Kings' Speech movie. I think I maybe be unconsciously afraid of picking it up... Oh and I also speak other languages too, and have wondered if it that made it worse. That is having to learn two at the same time when I was a child.
- vigliag 9y ago
  As a child I used to stutter when reading aloud to myself. Practicing by reading whole books aloud helped a lot. Some books were more difficult than others, especially those with really weird sentence structure, or really short sentences, which used to get me out of the flow. With practice, I stopped stuttering when reading aloud altogether, and then even when reading to other people (family members first). Talking to people however it's completely different matter, and it's still hard for me. I think there's some common difficulty curve. For me, things that became easy with time (even when I've stopped practicing by reading aloud) are, in order: reading aloud to myself, talking with siblings and parents, reading aloud to others, explaining technical matters to friends, talking to younger colleagues, and lately talking to friends, even on the phone. Talking to strangers is still difficult. I also find it gets harder the more unexpected is what I'm trying to say (for example, saying "sorry, I couldn't hear you, could you repeat that please?" instead of answering a question). Partially related: there's a /r/Stutter subreddit (which I haven't opened in years), if you want to read about some other people's experiences.
rdtsc 9y ago
I stutter. It's part of my life. I also speak 3 languages, 2 since childhood and I've always wondered if multilingualism contributed to it. Sometimes I do apologize for it, just because I feel embarrassed for the people having to listen to it and don't want them to feel like I am having a stroke. Some coworkers and family members help me finish my sentences. It heard it bothers other people who stutter, I'm ok with it.
xupybd 9y ago
I had a couple years Stuttering. Never figured out why, suspected it was related to trying pot for about 6 months. Not really sure but it's the only thing I could put it down to at the time. But boy, was that ever unpleasant. It just slowly faded away over time. For those of you that have had to live with this I really feel for you. There is the social side that's difficult but I had not idea how frustrating it is when your speech just wont come out. Seriously if you've never experienced this long term it's really hard to express how uncomfortable this can make life. But as for the social side, I think you'd be surprised how unfazed most of the people you know will be by it. Sure sometimes they'll be flustered and get annoyed but I don't think you need to be embarrassed by it the way most people are.
munr 9y ago
I've also got a stutter. Been aware of it since I was 11, and done a couple of weeks in speech therapy around that time where I learned some tricks like slowing down my speech, which has helped a lot over the years, especially as I have a tendency to speak fast. Growing up, I used to be absolutely terrified of answering the phone, though fortunately, not so much anymore. I've been a remote employee for the past couple of years though, with most of my interaction with co-workers being via phone/email/IM, and there have been some moments when my words have got completely stuck on morning stand-up calls or conference calls, which isn't a pleasant feeling. Equally terrifying was having to read out loud in class, which used to make me break out in cold sweat, or having to introduce myself to people. Strangely enough, I really enjoy reading to my kids nowadays and don't seem to stutter much when doing so. I've noticed that it usually comes out more when I'm tired or stressed, and on those days, I try and stick to IM or email as much as possible to try and help with communicating, rather than stumbling my way through phone calls. Being from the UK, but living in the US for 11 years now, one of the things that has helped is being forced to slow down my speech anyway as some people and co-workers struggle with a strong British accent. I'm more of a covert stutterer though, instead of overt, and I'd guess that many of my colleagues don't even know the mental gymnastics involved to keep it that way, using things like slow speech and word substitution. One of the things that does still completely suck is social interactions and coming across as awkward, because I always need to think about what I'm going to say, instead of being able to rapidly speak and respond in free-flowing conversation. I don't think that's something that will ever change. Not sure if it's genetic as I've got a few family members who also stutter, though one of my worries has been that my kids will inherit this gene from me. Fortunately, my daughter seems to be a little chatterbox, though my son isn't talking yet, so only time will tell.
rayzmundo 9y ago
I am a Mcguire programme http://www.mcguireprogramme.com/en http://www.mcguireprogramme.com/en graduate and it has totally transformed my life. From the quiet introvert person I once was to a confident independent person.

102 points by samclemens 9y ago

From an engineering perspective, I wish more technologists researched the intersection of speech and technology. For many who stutter there's a device called the SpeechEasy which is marketed as something to improve fluency, and reduce stuttering. Unfortunately for most it doesn't work, for those that it does work the effect wears off, it costs well over $3,000 for the intro pocket model, and typically not covered by insurance. What does it do? It creates an echo of your voice in your ear. Literally just an echo; the coral effect if you've ever seen The King's Speech. This device could be built off the shelf at a MicroCenter for a couple of hundred dollars. There are all kinds of technology for the disabled that is grossly overpriced, and I really wish technologists investigated them more, and found ways to disrupt these expensive devices.

deleted 9y ago
[deleted]
sattoshi 9y ago
Loopback microphone input on your smartphone, plug in earphones and you're good to go! How is that for disruption?
- mlvljr 9y ago
  An old wired phone does it for ya, in fact :)
- Overtonwindow 9y ago
  It doesn't exist. Why, I'm not sure. Would you create that app? Maybe make it so that you can use a Bluetooth earpiece or earbuds with an inline mic? That would be really awesome. If you created it and it worked just like the SpeechEasy you could sell it for a few dollars and make good money. It could be a way for potential users to test the effect in the real world before spending $3k+ on the device. I look forward to your progress!
  - vigliag 9y ago
    There are some already. Look for DAF or "delayed auditory feedback" on the play store. It is also trivial to build one with web audio.
    - Overtonwindow 9y ago
      Nope. They absolutely cannot be delayed auditory feedback. That disrupts speech. The device must reproduce the chorus effect. [0] [0] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xw_rVGUXgos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xw_rVGUXgos
      - vigliag 9y ago
        Some of those DAF apps can also apply pitch shifting (which is actually AAF). Provided they work properly, they should be able to provide that choral effect. I am no expert by the way, I've only toyed with those for a few minutes.
  - sattoshi 9y ago
    https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.ad960009.app.MicToSpeaker https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.ad960009.a... I use this

nodesocket 9y ago

I also have a stutter, and I've blogged about being a single founder with it (https://justink.svbtle.com/being-a-founder-with-a-speech-impediment https://justink.svbtle.com/being-a-founder-with-a-speech-imp...). I've had a speech impediment since I was a kid. I was told I would grow out of it. Still waiting for that to happen. :-) I've noticed my stuttering has seasons/cycles of worse times, which seem to be tied to stress or anxiety over important calls or meetings. My stuttering has certainly been frustrating and frankly limiting as a founder, since my latest company (https://elasticbyte.net https://elasticbyte.net) requires more person-to-person interactions (talking to clients and closing deals). The singing technique (mysteriously don't stutter when singing), while it is effective, does not work in a business setting. Darn!

reitanqild 9y ago
My brother had great trouble pronouncing a certain letter until he moved across tje language and adopted the local dialect. Suddenly he just started pronouncing it correctly. Later he was able to use it while speaking normally. (Mentioning it since it might work better in a business setting. And yes, I think he used to stutter as well but this was many years ago.)
o_____________o 9y ago
Have you ever looked into the valsalva hypothesis around stuttering?
southphillyman 9y ago
Did you stutter during interviews? If so has it had any impact on whether or not you could obtain employment? The singing thing is interesting, off the top of my head I can think of a few rappers who stutter but can clearly speak their lyrics in their songs. Maybe it's less about the dynamics of singing and more about focus shifting to a low anxiety activity?
- TinyBig 9y ago
  Stutterer here. Answer to both questions in my case: Yes and yes. I had potential employers just hang up the phone rather than wait for me to complete a sentence. I was completely unable to find a job (any job) when I fished undergrad with a 3.7 GPA in mechanical engineering. It was pretty scary at the time; I was convinced I was going to starve.

forthelove 9y ago

Stutterer here. Was in speech therapy for a long time as a child; my sister actually became a speech therapist b/c of that experience. It will always be a challenge (I'm 37 now), and it seems to rear its ugly head at random times not necessarily tied to stress. Two nights ago I made my first ever best man speech in front of about 150+ people and I maybe stammered once during the 5 or so minutes. Felt amazing and I had people asking me if I was a standup comic or spoke professionally. They have no clue the daily mental gymnastics I perform to master the stuttering.

forthelove 9y ago
I should note that I've had to give many, many, many presentations in many different business environments (in front of my companies, pitching investors, new biz pitches, etc.) and I learned a long time ago that confidence is crucial. Almost every time I practiced the best man speech I stuttered quite often, and almost on the same words every time. But come game time, it almost always goes smoothly. Always found that a bit odd. Maybe I just get into sort of flow states and just roll with it.
- nodesocket 9y ago
  Can you share some techniques? I've found the opposite.. Come game time on the phone especially, it is difficult. I stutter frequently and block for long extended periods.
  - forthelove 9y ago
    For one, breathe. Before, during, after. Breathe. Settle yourself (I meditate daily as well). Personally, I think I get caught up when I try to read word for word scripts, so I always give myself a general blueprint of what I want to say but allow myself room for improv. I also tend to do my practice speeches way faster than the real ones, which I also think is the opposite of what most people experience. I pause a lot (and, again, breathe) during speeches, let things sink in for both the audience and myself. That's about it. Oh, I try to get everyone laughing early on. It settles the nerves in almost any situation.

southphillyman 9y ago

"They are rooted in childhood—which is the only time stuttering can be reversed. Once you’re an adult, there are only ways of hiding" Don't think this is true. Bill Walton and Bill Withers both were in their 30s before they stopped stuttering I believe.

wrinkl3 9y ago
The problem with stuttering is that the condition is so broad and the cases are so diverse that any generalization of that kind is bound to be incorrect. So of course there'll be cases of stutters who managed to achieve complete fluency in adulthood, as well as people who only began to stutter as adults.
SilkRoadie 9y ago
I don't agree with this either. I am in my thirties now and still stutter but I have made huge progress in the past 5 years. In the past stuttering was a huge part my life. Now, while I stutter from time to time my self confidence means it doesn't matter. In the past I refused to use the phone. I couldn't. I would be vocally paralysed. Today I spent an hour talking on the phone to a mortgage broker. The only situation I struggle with is conference calling at work. I haven't thought much on it as I rarely do it. I guess I worry I will get stuck and someone will talk over me.. which I guess is silly. If I did it more I am sure I would master it too.

mcone 9y ago

I'm also a stutterer. I wish I could share with you the overwhelming shame, humiliation, and ostracism I experienced as a child in my classroom environments. As a result I feel tremendous compassion for others with physical and mental limitations. Speech therapy really helped me help myself, but I still sometimes stutter.

rdtsc 9y ago
I am a stutterer as well. Yeah I remember the constant humiliation and being made fun of, the bullying. It often included teachers, extended family members, and adults. My parents tried speech therapy, unfortunately, it was the Soviet version, and in their typical irony, they had put the only children's speech pathologist's office in my city, in a mental hospital. So to get to the appointment I had to witness some scary behavior from some of patients. Needless to say we had stopped going there after a while. I always wondered who came up with that setup, someone had a very dark sense of humor.

40acres 9y ago

I had a stutter growing up, it was terrible. Whenever I got noticed I just froze up, I particularly remember one English teacher who knew I was bad at public speaking yet repeatedly calling on me during class to read sections (more than other kids). I was terrified of going to high school with a stutter, I knew how cruel kids could be, but out of nowhere my stutter disappeared. I never really looked at to what phenomenon caused my stutter to go away but it was a huge weight off my back.

rhapsodic 9y ago
> I had a stutter growing up, it was terrible. Whenever I got noticed I just froze up, I particularly remember one English teacher who knew I was bad at public speaking yet repeatedly calling on me during class to read sections (more than other kids). It sounds like the English teacher had a sadistic streak.
- 40acres 9y ago
  She was definitely a mean one.I always felt she was picking on me.
  - smogcutter 9y ago
    Could also see it as a misguided attempt to help, like teaching someone to swim by throwing them in the pool. Obviously I don't know your teacher, if you say she was a mean one she was a mean one, but that's the charitable interpretation. I'm interested in what you (and other current/former stutterers) think the right strategy in the classroom would be. On the one hand you don't want to push a student into daily humiliations, it's cruel. On the other hand, life will continue to require public speaking, and allowing a student to hide from that is maybe doing them a disservice in the long run. What approaches from teachers did/didn't work for you?

hgl 9y ago

I'm a stutter too. My condition is a bit special I think. When I'm alone, I don't stutter at all if I think out loud or just read something on the screen, every scary word turns into a piece of cake. But as soon as I realize someone can hear me (even if it's remote like video chat), I start to stutter, pretty badly. I wonder if other people are in the same camp. I didn't stutter when I was kid until I played with a neighbor kid who did, and it frightened me that I might stutter like him whenever I need to talk. As time progresses, the frightening reinforced, and I never grew out of it. I wonder if it qualifies as classical conditioning? I also speak other languages, and the severity is different in different languages.

shanev 9y ago
Your condition isn't special. Everyone who stutters doesn't when they are alone. Neurologically, it's a defect in processing external feedback to what we are saying. If no one is listening, there is no feedback.
rdtsc 9y ago
> When I'm alone, I don't stutter at all if From a sample of N=2, I can say that's pretty typical ;-) But to be serious, I don't think that's uncommon. > I didn't stutter when I was kid until I played with a neighbor kid who did, Ah interesting. That reminded me that my cousin also stutters and well when we played together, we both got worse after a while. My parents noticed that. I also noticed after I watched or listen some stutter, I'd stutter more. I wonder if that that's why I never really wanted that Kings' Speech movie. I think I maybe be unconsciously afraid of picking it up... Oh and I also speak other languages too, and have wondered if it that made it worse. That is having to learn two at the same time when I was a child.
vigliag 9y ago
As a child I used to stutter when reading aloud to myself. Practicing by reading whole books aloud helped a lot. Some books were more difficult than others, especially those with really weird sentence structure, or really short sentences, which used to get me out of the flow. With practice, I stopped stuttering when reading aloud altogether, and then even when reading to other people (family members first). Talking to people however it's completely different matter, and it's still hard for me. I think there's some common difficulty curve. For me, things that became easy with time (even when I've stopped practicing by reading aloud) are, in order: reading aloud to myself, talking with siblings and parents, reading aloud to others, explaining technical matters to friends, talking to younger colleagues, and lately talking to friends, even on the phone. Talking to strangers is still difficult. I also find it gets harder the more unexpected is what I'm trying to say (for example, saying "sorry, I couldn't hear you, could you repeat that please?" instead of answering a question). Partially related: there's a /r/Stutter subreddit (which I haven't opened in years), if you want to read about some other people's experiences.

rdtsc 9y ago

I stutter. It's part of my life. I also speak 3 languages, 2 since childhood and I've always wondered if multilingualism contributed to it. Sometimes I do apologize for it, just because I feel embarrassed for the people having to listen to it and don't want them to feel like I am having a stroke. Some coworkers and family members help me finish my sentences. It heard it bothers other people who stutter, I'm ok with it.

xupybd 9y ago

I had a couple years Stuttering. Never figured out why, suspected it was related to trying pot for about 6 months. Not really sure but it's the only thing I could put it down to at the time. But boy, was that ever unpleasant. It just slowly faded away over time. For those of you that have had to live with this I really feel for you. There is the social side that's difficult but I had not idea how frustrating it is when your speech just wont come out. Seriously if you've never experienced this long term it's really hard to express how uncomfortable this can make life. But as for the social side, I think you'd be surprised how unfazed most of the people you know will be by it. Sure sometimes they'll be flustered and get annoyed but I don't think you need to be embarrassed by it the way most people are.

munr 9y ago

I've also got a stutter. Been aware of it since I was 11, and done a couple of weeks in speech therapy around that time where I learned some tricks like slowing down my speech, which has helped a lot over the years, especially as I have a tendency to speak fast. Growing up, I used to be absolutely terrified of answering the phone, though fortunately, not so much anymore. I've been a remote employee for the past couple of years though, with most of my interaction with co-workers being via phone/email/IM, and there have been some moments when my words have got completely stuck on morning stand-up calls or conference calls, which isn't a pleasant feeling. Equally terrifying was having to read out loud in class, which used to make me break out in cold sweat, or having to introduce myself to people. Strangely enough, I really enjoy reading to my kids nowadays and don't seem to stutter much when doing so. I've noticed that it usually comes out more when I'm tired or stressed, and on those days, I try and stick to IM or email as much as possible to try and help with communicating, rather than stumbling my way through phone calls. Being from the UK, but living in the US for 11 years now, one of the things that has helped is being forced to slow down my speech anyway as some people and co-workers struggle with a strong British accent. I'm more of a covert stutterer though, instead of overt, and I'd guess that many of my colleagues don't even know the mental gymnastics involved to keep it that way, using things like slow speech and word substitution. One of the things that does still completely suck is social interactions and coming across as awkward, because I always need to think about what I'm going to say, instead of being able to rapidly speak and respond in free-flowing conversation. I don't think that's something that will ever change. Not sure if it's genetic as I've got a few family members who also stutter, though one of my worries has been that my kids will inherit this gene from me. Fortunately, my daughter seems to be a little chatterbox, though my son isn't talking yet, so only time will tell.

rayzmundo 9y ago

I am a Mcguire programme http://www.mcguireprogramme.com/en http://www.mcguireprogramme.com/en graduate and it has totally transformed my life. From the quiet introvert person I once was to a confident independent person.