That isn't quite what I am saying. I am saying that buying something - or in this case having children - and expecting instant happiness is shallow and consumer

That isn't quite what I am saying. I am saying that buying something - or in this case having children - and expecting instant happiness is shallow and consumeristic. Proper happiness comes from deeper things and while this probably isn't the place to go into it I would argue that its not quite what you should be aiming for - depth of experience and quality of experience are better things to be aiming for to my mind.