Thanks for responding. Not sure why you got downvoted. I don't equate work with a job. By "work", I mean that you have to put effort into the marriage. A marri

Thanks for responding. Not sure why you got downvoted. I don't equate work with a job. By "work", I mean that you have to put effort into the marriage. A marriage is not the same as a romance, and should also not be conflated with love. That you and your wife are honest with each other and make an effort at not going to bed angry with each other is aligned with what I was expressing. On the brutal honesty thing: it sounds like it works well for you and your wife, and that is great. It doesn't work so well with my wife and I becuase we suck at crucial conversations and we are now just learning how to have them. One key thing about the teachings in crucial conversations is to recognizing the false dichotomy of speaking truth and having a good relationship. It is possible to do both. It sounds like you and your wife are already doing both.