>That's the hard lesson I had to learn. I learned a harder lesson: some people don't need to reach out. They are naturally attractive. Some of it can be helped

>That's the hard lesson I had to learn. I learned a harder lesson: some people don't need to reach out. They are naturally attractive. Some of it can be helped, but not all of it. If people aren't approaching you, you're not likely in that category and connections will be more difficult for you. Do you try to change yourself, your environment, or something else? Knowing that it's a harder road puts off some people from taking that road. It's a classic trade off of playing to your strengths vs. covering your weaknesses. For example, hitting on girls at the gym goes down differently depending on how you look. Same for approaching people in public for casual conversation. Some people say you shouldn't hit on people at the gym at all. Do I risk offending someone at the gym or try to make a connection? When people report about bad experiences with casual connections in any place, do you let that change your behavior or not?