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My experience - also anecdotal - supports this. Only a small minority of people who 'joke' about their home life are actually joking. See also: http://catb.o

My experience - also anecdotal - supports this. Only a small minority of people who 'joke' about their home life are actually joking. See also: http://catb.org/jargon/html/H/ha-ha-only-serious.html http://catb.org/jargon/html/H/ha-ha-only-serious.html

pdimitar 9y ago
Yep. People use the joking form of expression to tell truths they wouldn't dare saying with a straight face while the other side knows they're fully serious. Social stigma and dogma are to blame for this. (Off-topic: one of the reasons that the love between me and my wife hasn't at all eroded -- it even got stronger -- after 3 years and a few months is that we're very honest with each other, even for the unpleasant truths. It's not about blinding your eyes; it's about being real plus being loving.)
- StavrosK 9y ago
  Also, it's only been three years. Give it a few decades.
  - pdimitar 9y ago
    I had a failed relationship that lasted 8 years before. But I know what you are talking about. Time can kill love. I do believe we're on the right track however. We are sensitive to the relationship killers and we are actively addressing them. Being inert is not our thing.
    - StavrosK 9y ago
      I think that's the actual reason for doing well, ie addressing problems. (Lack of) honesty is just one of those.
- coldtea 9y ago
  >after 3 years and a few months That's not long at all.
  - pdimitar 9y ago
    From my subjective experience, most relationships' future is known no later than year two.
    - coldtea 9y ago
      Of most relationships maybe, but not of most marriage type relations though. People marry and divorse after the 5th and 10th and 15th etc. year all the time...
      - pdimitar 9y ago
        That's a sad reality. If my father hadn't died 16 years ago, my mother would have divorced him. People change. Sometimes a lot. You've fallen in love with a certain person and one morning, decades later, you suddenly realize this person is no longer with you.

pdimitar 9y ago

Yep. People use the joking form of expression to tell truths they wouldn't dare saying with a straight face while the other side knows they're fully serious. Social stigma and dogma are to blame for this. (Off-topic: one of the reasons that the love between me and my wife hasn't at all eroded -- it even got stronger -- after 3 years and a few months is that we're very honest with each other, even for the unpleasant truths. It's not about blinding your eyes; it's about being real plus being loving.)

StavrosK 9y ago
Also, it's only been three years. Give it a few decades.
- pdimitar 9y ago
  I had a failed relationship that lasted 8 years before. But I know what you are talking about. Time can kill love. I do believe we're on the right track however. We are sensitive to the relationship killers and we are actively addressing them. Being inert is not our thing.
  - StavrosK 9y ago
    I think that's the actual reason for doing well, ie addressing problems. (Lack of) honesty is just one of those.
coldtea 9y ago
>after 3 years and a few months That's not long at all.
- pdimitar 9y ago
  From my subjective experience, most relationships' future is known no later than year two.
  - coldtea 9y ago
    Of most relationships maybe, but not of most marriage type relations though. People marry and divorse after the 5th and 10th and 15th etc. year all the time...
    - pdimitar 9y ago
      That's a sad reality. If my father hadn't died 16 years ago, my mother would have divorced him. People change. Sometimes a lot. You've fallen in love with a certain person and one morning, decades later, you suddenly realize this person is no longer with you.