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People usually do not have to proclaim things that the larger culture implicitly agrees is simply so true that "it goes without saying." You will tend to not be
by Mz 9y ago
People usually do not have to proclaim things that the larger culture implicitly agrees is simply so true that "it goes without saying." You will tend to not be aware of such implicit assumptions, because they aren't typically overtly signalled, unless you, yourself, regularly run into social friction for defying cultural expectations. At which point it will be maddeningly obvious, and the thing that is most crazy-making is the degree to which other people act like you are a deluded fruitcake or radical feminist or something for stating the obvious.
- weberc2 9y agoI would argue that there's a lot of friction you're not feeling by holding the mainstream position. For me, it's baffling that every disparity is assumed to be caused by discrimination despite so few actual cases of confirmed systemic bias, or that every conversation about inequality only examines the particular facets of life that are harder for women. It feels sooooo obvious to me that there is no significant anti-female bias, and it's almost certainly the case that men and women are bimodal in our preferences, and society is organized to accommodate the centers for each mode such that life is harder the further your preferences are from your gender's average.
- Mz 9y agoEdit: The comment I replied to has been substantially edited, as has the follow-up reply to me. Thus, for people reading this, it may look like what I have said is "crazy" or reactionary or otherwise bad behavior on my part. I assert this is an additional means to be dismissive and disrespectful of me and I see no reason to try to further engage this individual. No good will come of it. But I am leaving this comment here anyway. --- I was one of the top three graduating students of my high school class. I fully expected to be part of a two career couple. That never happened. Instead, I was a homemaker and full time mom for a lot of years. So I have spent a LOT of time trying to parse how and why my life got so completely flushed down the toilet and did not turn into what I and so many other people expected of it. (One family friend bluntly told me "We all expected you to be a self made millionaire. What the hell happened?") This involved reading quite a lot of research about how and why the lives of men and women turn out differently. We may well see it differently, but that sounds to me like a polite way to trivialize my conclusions. My conclusions have not been drawn in a trivial manner. There has been quite a lot of study involved in drawing them.
- weberc2 9y agoIt's not an attempt to trivialize; I'm pointing out that other people have equally strong contrarian feelings, and that they can make the same arguments for their position (and then some). I don't doubt that you've been compulsive about researching the subject (as have I).
- adrienne 9y agoClearly not compulsive enough, as you don't seem to have checked research that disagrees with your biases (like the vast body of work showing that sex-based differences in brains are negligible)
- weberc2 9y agoJust saw Mz's edit. For those reading along, I posted initially and then immediately rewrote it for clarity, because I didn't think I did a good job articulating. I didn't think anyone would have seen it, but it probably took me longer than I thought as I'm posting from mobile. My edit was substantial, but my points are the same, so I'm not sure why the parent thinks this is an attempt to dismiss her. (Nor do I know why she thinks I'd try to dismiss her, I have better things to do with my time than plot conspiracies against strangers in the internet...).